Race Recap: Des Moines Half Marathon

Des Moines Half Marathon Race Report

When: Sunday, October 16, 2016

Where: Des Moines, IA

Weather: 60s and foggy

Division: Open

I have done the Des Moines races before, but it had been a while. I was eager to see if they had fixed the few issues that I had with the race back in 2010/2011. The expo was good, easy in/out, and organized. The hardest part is finding parking, which you basically have to park on the street (metered) or pay $8 for the garage (no thanks). I managed to find street parking two blocks away, so crisis averted! Swag bags are awesome. I did the 5 miler on Saturday morning and that came with a free fleece blanket, which is unique (not just another boring t-shirt), plus the 5 miler finishers got very nice medals. The half bag contained a shirt which is very thin (probably see-through when wet, not kidding ya) but the sleeves are long enough even for gangly me. Picked up a cowbell and some candy at the booths around the expo.

On Sunday morning I walked from my very conveniently located hotel to the start area two blocks away. The start/finish area is quite spread out but it is decently organized, at least if you have checked a map beforehand. I was able to easily consult my map and find the bag drop and port-a-johns. Race started on time and it took me about 6 minutes to cross the starting mat. Or what I thought was the starting mat. Turns out the 5K start mats are INSIDE the starting chute, so I crossed starting mats twice and started my watch at the wrong ones. Mental note: delete 54 seconds from my race time to accommodate this error. It was really poorly marked so I only take partial credit for this boner.

The race course was new this year and avoided an area that traumatized me in 2010 (I DNF'd because I had to drop out...in the area that was now omitted from the race). I felt great. Mile 3 was really long, though, by about 1/4 mile (confirmed by others with GPS watches), and they didn't really even it out later on, so I think the course in general was a bit long. Another bad thing going on was the extreme humidity. It was very foggy for the first hour of this race. "Fog" = 100% humidity, so it was brutal, especially since temps were in the 60s. 

One thing that was great about this race: volunteers and bike support. The bike support was ridiculously on fleek. These people were all over me and I loved it. If you needed just about anything, they either had it on them or were willing to pedal their butts off to get it. The volunteers were enthusiastic. But I was sad to see that they hadn't improved the course markings since 2010. There were a LOT of intersections where, if I hadn't been in a stream of racers, I would have had no idea where to go. How hard is it to put up signs or spray-paint the street? Great course, terrible markings.

Also terrible: the people I was around. Usually the back of the pack is really nice and friendly, since we clearly don't take ourselves too seriously. Not today. I was actually kind of amused by how rude a lot of my fellow slowbies were. "Iowa Nice," my ass. It got to the point where I would try to start conversations and just expect them to ignore me or stare at me like I had three heads. I didn't let it discourage me, though, and by the time I hit mile 9 I had left a lot of those Grumpy Guses in the dust. I mean, geez, folks, eat a Snickers or something, you get a little cranky when you're tired. After 9 miles, the slightly faster folks I was near were much more pleasant. 

At this point in the race, there were a lot more spectators, since we were approaching downtown again. The signs were amazing. Lots of hate for Donald Trump, which was a joy to see. "Run like Trump's trying to grab your [picture of a cat]." "Run like Trump's chasing you." (I didn't see any anti-Hillary signs, but I did laugh pretty hard at a "HilLIARy for 2016 PRISON" billboard on the highway back home.) Also there was a water stop staffed by Air National Guardsmen in uniform, which definitely makes you think twice about bitching about the...

...GIANT HILL! Yes, this course, already fairly hilly, took it to a new level (literally) with a giant hill at mile 10! Keep in mind, this is mile 23 of the full marathon, too. I smiled when I saw it. I love walking up hills, especially when I am tired. Hear me out. Your glutes are big. Your glutes are underutilized much of the time. They had plenty of gas in the tank (that was not a fart joke, although you are welcome to make one). My motto is "push with the tush," which apparently a lot of other folks don't know about because I passed a TON of struggling folks on the walk up the hill. The incline was about 1 mile long and fairly steep at parts. It felt amazing. I was actually kind of dreading the inevitable...

...GIANT DOWNHILL! Shit. Going down steep hills is fun during a 5K, but once you've hit double-digit miles it is a nightmare. I basically limped down the hill and tried to keep my hip flexors from trying so hard to brake me, which is a literal exercise in futility when you are a walker instead of a runner. Ironically, it would have hurt much less if I'd jogged down the hill, but who knows how my shins would have taken that, so walking it was. That downhill took a long time but when it was over I was so happy. 

After the GIANT DOWNHILL we had only about a mile to the finish, which went quickly and easily. Not a lot of "faffing about," as Len would say on Dancing With the Stars. We headed straight back for the finish line. Got a GORGEOUS finisher medal (it has blue stained glass in it, folks) and good food (delicious sugar cookie and a BBQ pork slider? YES GAWD). Bag retrieval was quick and I managed to make it back to my hotel, stretch, shower, and leave right in time for my noon checkout.

Good: 

-course. Great elevation changes, nice sights.

-volunteers. Friendly and eager to help.

-entertainment. Lots of local musicians and a good number of boomboxes. 

-food. Baked Cheetos? Chocolate milk? Prepackaged turkey sandwiches? Yogurt? Snack boxes with nachos in them? And it's not even my birthday!

-food on the course. Those bike folks had everything. Pretzels, gummi bears, Twizzlers, the list goes on.

-photographers are plentiful and in good areas (like when there's cool stuff in the background, like bridges).
-medal is AMAZING. Perhaps the best I've ever gotten. It has stained glass in it, FFS.

Bad:

-kind of disorganized for such a major race. Needed course markings and a more intuitive start/finish area layout. I shouldn't need a map to have a clue where bag check is.

-unfriendly participants. Seriously, WTF? I've never encountered so much stank during a race before!
-course was clearly too long. Was a new course, so who knows. Must fix for next time!

Race Grade: B. What is good is very, very good. What is bad is...kind of unforgivable? A badly marked course makes me unlikely to recommend it for potentially slow walkers, since if you lose the pack you're screwed. I had that problem in 2010 and it contributed to my DNF.

Looooooooooong Walks

There is a point at which the length of your long workouts in marathon training will become somewhat ridiculous. For me, that point is 18 miles, which takes me about 4 hours. Four hours is long enough to watch ANY Oscar-winning film with time to spare. It is long enough to start at a reasonably early morning hour and finish in the damn afternoon, making you switch your greetings from "morning" to "hi." It is a long. Time.

You might be asking yourself, "how am I supposed to get motivated to do such a ridiculous thing?" The answer: stop overthinking it. Honestly, "stop thinking so much" is the cornerstone of my personal training sessions. I tell all my clients to stop thinking so much and just DO IT. This is a real problem with intellectual types. There is a reason "dumb jock" is a stereotype. We have no time for crazy behaviors such as thinking! We are too busy doing! Busy for four hours!

This is not to say that you should not be prepared. Oh yes, you must be prepared. And you must be aware while you are out there. Prepare by packing up and bringing what you need. Prepare by using your Vaseline and getting your clothes on point and all the other tips I've shared before. Be aware on your chosen route so that you do not get murdered and/or die.

Here is what I do for my 18-mile workouts. I do pretty much the same thing I do for 14- and 16-miles. I bring 24 oz of Powerade or Gatorade, which I water down along the way when I stop at drinking fountains. I will probably be fine with my watered-down Powerade all the way through my training (I will max out at 22 miles since this ain't my first rodeo...if it was, 20 miles would do just fine). I bring nothing else. You may want to bring chewable Pepto, since this is the one thing I WOULD bring if I had pockets, since I inevitably feel like dry-heaving somewhere around mile 15.

At some point during your workout, you may feel like you are simply staggering along, your hips tightened up by some invisible bastard with a wrench, staring down the barrel of a few more miles of misery. Keep in mind that THIS IS THE POINT. The more workouts you have where you end up with tight hips and low back pain that makes you feel like you have added decades to your age, the stronger you will be next week. Seriously. This is training. You are literally training your body to handle this. If your body cannot handle it this week...great! That is the whole, entire point of this otherwise pointless endeavor! As long as you complete the miles, there is no such thing as a bad long workout. Let me repeat in all caps: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BAD LONG WORKOUT. The name of the game is putting miles on your feet. Even if the whole thing falls apart, so what? Did you really think you'd get faster every single week? That's not possible. We walkers all have a terminal velocity.

Some weeks will go badly, meaning you will be in pain, you will be two hours in and looking ahead to another two hours and thinking "where the hell am I gonna find this?" Here's a secret, gang. This is the part of the long workout that is less obvious. The mental training. You need to trust your body. Stop thinking. Start doing. Your legs can carry you because you have trained them to. Your brain can go as long as your legs can. Think positive thoughts. If your workout is a disaster, tell yourself "dang, I am going to be so much stronger next week because of this." If your workout is amazing, revel in it, because everything has come together. Your hard work, over the course of four hours every weekend, will reap whatever you sow. So sow your asses off! FOUR HOURS.

Saying Sayonara to Summer and Aloha to Autumn

With summer heading out and fall heading our way, I know a lot of my fellow walkers are thrilled to get all the benefits of autumn training and racing. Cool temperatures! The smell of falling leaves! Hidden slugs everywhere! What's not to love? Answer: nothing. But lest you think summer was just a ball-broiling waste of your time, consider the following:

1) Nothing gets a person conditioned like training in heat and humidity. Nothing. If you've kept up with your training all summer long, right now you are basically a MACHINE. Once the moisture leaves the air, you will practically find a whole other gear. My running husband says fall is when you capitalize on your summer training. He is correct. You have spent the summer paying your dues and now they will be repaid with interest.

2) Your refuel strategy is probably amazing. In the heat, you have to hydrate. In the cool weather, you will be USED to hydrating a lot, and therefore you will have a massive advantage in any distance events or workouts you do. Don't slack on your water intake because the weather is colder. You still need it.

3) Hello to the falling leaves! So beautiful! So slippery. Be careful on those leaves, especially when they're wet. Also, fallen walnuts and such will really ruin your day if you aren't looking out for them. They call it "fall" because a lot of crap is falling all over the place. Break yo'self.

4) Bust out the cold-weather gear! But be hesitant to overdress. Remember, if you are working hard you can wear shorts and a tank top even in 40-degree weather. But you don't want your extremities to freeze, right? Strike this delicate balance with accessories. A headband and light gloves (or arm warmers) might be all you need, and they are easily removed and carried if you get too warm. Also, don't bring a jacket if you will only need it for a mile. Do you really want to tie that around your waist and Sherpa it home like a menstrual woman in a Mentos commercial? No. No, you do not.

5) Fall races! They are everywhere! Look some up. Train for something. Take advantage of the gorgeous weather and set a new PR. Keep your momentum going into the winter. On that note...

6) Make a plan for winter. Make your plan NOW. A lot of people let themselves get out of shape in the winter, only to have to "get it back" in the spring for their next race season. Do not become a statistic. Do not gain winter weight. Stay in shape. HAVE A PLAN. Write the plan down. Make it your mission to get in even better shape through the holidays. It is easier to stay in shape than to get in shape. Remember this and plan for it!

Enjoy a beautiful autumn of walking!

Race Recap: Fox Cities Half Marathon

Fox Cities Half Marathon Race Report

When: Sunday, September 18, 2016

Where: Appleton, WI

Weather: 60s and sunny

Division: Competitive Walk, with age group awards

I was really looking forward to this one, because it is the first time I’ve done a race that had a proper walking division with three awards per age group (the age groups span 10 years each instead of 5 in the open division). My goal was to walk around 2:50 (13-minute miles) and place in my age group, preferably to win my age group. The weather was fairly nice, although I could have gone about 10-20 degrees cooler at the start. Still saw tons of people dressed in multiple layers.

Gun went off and the first 2 miles were into the rising sun. Very blinding! I missed the first mile marker. We turned north right before mile 2 and I saw that I was at exactly a 13-minute mile. Kind of disappointing because there was no room to slow down, but it’s tough at the start of a race. Competitive Walk starts 5 minutes after the Open Division, so I had to walk around a lot of slow runners and run/walkers in the early miles. Many of them like to walk in packs, which is frustrating to circumnavigate.

At around the 4-mile mark I heard a woman behind my right shoulder “whisper” to her friend, “let’s hurry up and pass these WALKERS.” As she and her friend jogged ahead, I yelled to her “STAY ahead of me, then!” Besides that one awful woman, I didn’t get any disrespect as a walker in this race. I think most of the people who were in the back of the pack in the Open division had a normal level of humility and grace, and they were pleasant race companions.

Near the 5-mile mark, we had to cross a major road, and there were cops directing traffic. Unfortunately, one cop kept letting people in cars go past and made the racers stop. We had to wait until this cop decided to stop letting cars go through, and a bunch of us were pissed. We had momentum going and he was ruining it. Finally after about 20 seconds at a dead stop, we were able to go again. This is not acceptable and I hope it doesn’t happen again in the future. Future Cops: stop the cars, not the race. They knew about the street closures beforehand and they could have gone a different way.

At about 6 miles I was on track to finish in under 2:50, but I was starting to fatigue. It was fairly hot by this point (upper 60s) and not as breezy as I’m used to in my windy hometown. It was also an extremely flat course. I have written in my blog about training for specific race conditions, but I had been doing my long workouts in fairly hilly conditions, and as a result my glutes and quads were on fleek. My hip flexors, however, were dying in this race, and I could feel it. I had no idea this course was so flat. There was no elevation chart on the website. My bad. It was flatter than the Chicago Marathon. It was flatter than Disneyworld! There were maybe two or three tiny slopes the entire time. Yeah, my hip flexors were struggling by mile 10. Lesson learned: do more flats in training.

The last three miles were extremely scenic. At two points we crossed long pedestrian bridges over a picturesque lake and through lovely parks. Then around mile 11.5 we entered a brief industrial slum, which made me laugh, because literally EVERY race takes you through a brief industrial slum, and it’s usually near the end. It was very brief, though, less than half a mile, and we ended up in downtown Neenah. The fire department had a sprinkler out front which I enjoyed. All the volunteers and spectators were great this entire race, actually. Every water stop had water and Gatorade, and several had oranges, bananas, and Gu. It helps that the half marathon course runs concurrent with the marathon course for the first two miles, then the last 9 miles. All the “last 9 miles of a marathon” refueling perks were available to us halfers!

The finish chute was lined with people, none of whom were cheering at all. That was a bit odd, but I’m used to it. People don’t really cheer much for walkers in general. They did stare at me as I walked on through, though. Crossed the line about 2 minutes slower than I’d planned, but considering the flat and warm conditions I wasn’t surprised. Got my finisher medal and finisher shirt, a few bites of food, and stretched out while my family found me.

I went to the results tent to see what the verdict was. And I won my age group! By 12 minutes! I suppose other folks had issues, too. The awards will be mailed out in a few weeks, so I didn’t have to stick around for a ceremony.

Race Pros:

Walking division with age group awards. This is rare.

Great water stops.

Good weather for an early-fall race.

Everything ran on time.

Indoor areas to hang out in pre-race, including real bathrooms.

Flat course. (Most people love it.)

Race Cons:

Flat course. (A bit TOO flat for me.)

Post-race food was limited a bit, especially for being the end of a full marathon as well. I got a quarter of a bagel, only to find that it was GARLIC flavored. Whoever thought garlic bagels were a good choice for nauseous runners post-race has never done a race before.

Point-to-point course. This is not my favorite, sorry folks. I prefer a loop. I don't like having to take shuttles around to get my car afterward (or a shuttle beforehand to leave my car at the finish). Fortunately my fast husband finished over an hour before me, so he got the car solo.

Confusing organization. Don’t get me wrong, this race was very organized, it just came across a bit poorly in certain respects. Like, if you wanted to find the bag check area pre-race, you better have a map of the start area, because it is not intuitive and there are no signs. Also the expo/packet pickup was a bit of a cluster. There were two different areas you HAD to visit to get all your pre-race stuff, and they were on opposite ends of a labyrinthine building.

Overall, I will give this race a solid A-. The flat course and garlic bagel took it down a tiny bit, but the fact that there is a walking division is a huge plus.

Choo-Choo-Choosing Your Route

There are a lot of things to consider when you are choosing a walking route. Some of these things, ironically, you may not have considered so far. Here's a breakdown.

How far are you walking? (I mean, duh.) But what I mean is, is this a new distance for you? Are you nervous about going farther than you've gone before? If you are feeling a bit uneasy about your ability to finish, there are two ways to handle it. If you want to give yourself an out (due to injury, fatigue, whatever), consider doing multiple loops near your residence, or do a snake-style up and down side streets near your residence. That will give you opportunities to abort mission safely. If you want to push yourself and require completion of the entire distance, perhaps an out-and-back would be best. Once you get, say, 4 miles away, you will HAVE to come 4 miles back.

How's the weather? Generally speaking, you will want to be protected from the elements. Sun and wind are the "silent killers," and buildings and trees will provide more shade and wind blocking than wide open prairies and such. It is also wise to avoid lots of concrete in the heat, since it will make your path much hotter than it usually would be. Forests can also offer some protection from rain, if you're into that sort of thing, but I'd just wear a hat.

How are the road/trail conditions? In the winter, if you are in a snowy or icy area, you will want to take trails and pathways that are plowed/shoveled and salted or sanded to avoid slipping. If there is a trail that gets muddy or flooded and there has been a lot of rain recently, avoid that trail.

How safe is it? You will want to consider both safety from injury (avoid trails and sidewalks that are potholed, uneven, and neglected) and safety from crime. Avoid paths that take you too far from civilization for too long, because that may leave you vulnerable to any number of threats (such as wild animals and your own body collapsing and nobody around to call for help). Avoid areas that are dangerous or unsafe, rape and assault-wise. On that final note, ALWAYS LOOK ALERT when you are walking. Even if you feel like death, don't let it show on your face or in your body language. Avoid being a victim by avoiding looking like an easy target.

How hilly is it? Contrary to popular belief, flatter is not always better. If you are training for a race, try to find long-walk routes that are similar to your race course. If you are training for a marathon with a hilly first half, do your long workouts on a route with a hilly first half. If you are training for a pancake-flat half marathon, do your long workouts on pancake-flat trails. You want to get your muscles used to whatever terrain they will need to be used to. On the other hand, you should try to walk each week on a different style of terrain at least once, just to keep in good general walking shape.

Where do you like to walk? Urban vs rural. Forests vs lakes. Recreation trails vs sidewalks. There are a ton of options and every person is different. If you choose routes that you think are scenic and lovely, you will enjoy your workouts more. My six-mile short workout takes me past a golf course where I am motivated by occasionally finding golf balls. I've collected 8 of them so far. Whatever keeps you going, gang.

Are there any obvious issues with your route? You may not notice this until you try it, but various things like trains, unleashed dogs, farmer's markets, scary hobos, creepy people, cigarette smokers, and any number of things that may be along your route all the time can be avoided. Some of these things are one-time events, but some of these things may be a regular occurrence.

There are a couple of good mapping tools that I enjoy using:

USATF Map It - this lets you click out a course wherever on the map you want. It is my personal favorite mapping tool because it lets to create "shortcuts" (say, you can cross a grassy strip, or something) and it has mile splits that automatically show up.

On The Go Map - this is a very accurate mapper and will automatically fill in the gaps between your waypoints. Unfortunately, it does not allow for shortcuts, since it must stay on the street or recreation trail. This can also lead to occasional baffling moments when creating your route. If your route is very simple, though, this can be a great tool. No mile splits, sadly.

Once you find your favorite routes, it will be easy to feel motivated to get out there! Choose wisely!

An Ode to Petroleum Jelly

There are a few anti-friction agents out there for runners and walkers. Body Glide, which is essentially a glorified deodorant stick. Talcum powder, which is quite a mess. But, my friends, one lubricant stands alone as the best multipurpose tool you can get for the cheapest price.

Petroleum jelly.

AKA Vaseline. Good, old fashioned Vaseline. It comes in a giant tub for a few bucks and will last you YEARS.

I always had issues with blisters...until Vaseline. I started using a Q-tip to apply Vaseline to my foot's "problem areas," basically anywhere that caused me any problems at any time. My little toe tends to get a huge blister, so...Vaseline. The tips of my toes around the nails can bleed on occasion. Smear 'em with Vaseline. A couple spots on the bottom of my foot that can rub excessively - you guessed it! Vaseline!

Let me tell ya, friends. I haven't had a show-stopping blister in MONTHS. And I did 16 miles this morning.

As a bonus, Vaseline is also fantastic for chafing. If you have areas that rub together, smear Vaseline on 'em! I constantly deal with underarm chafing, so before I go out I now put Vaseline in my armpits. I still get a bit of chafing (hard to avoid when you're going really far), but it's infinitely more manageable.

Put it on your shopping list. Put it on your pre-race packing list. Put it on your damn Christmas list! Petroleum jelly is something you NEED!

Case Study: The Great Flood

Once in a while, I have a particularly eventful walk. I will document these with "Case Study" posts.

Date: Saturday, August 27, 2016
Start time: 7 AM
Weather: Low 60s, cloudy and humid, occasional misting.

I knew there was some mild flooding in my area, and I had a great contingency plan for the couple of points where I anticipated I would encounter high water. So I set out on my 14-mile route with confidence. This was to be my last week at 14 miles before moving up to 16. I was feeling great and hit two miles at 25:25, ready to take the trail through the first park on my route. I glanced over toward the park and saw...water. Lots of water. About 2 feet of water covering the entire park. A look of horror on my face (while keeping pace! I felt so proud.), I said "WOW. Plan B," and continued north up the same street. In a couple miles it would meet up with my usual route, although a few miles would be cut off since I was basically taking a shortcut farther away from the river. I figured, I'll go up to my usual route, go around the lake like I usually do, and see how things are at the other river-adjacent park.

I hit the lake shortly after the one-hour mark and started my usual counter-clockwise traverse to the other side. I headed past the bathrooms and saw...water. About 30-40 yards of deep water covering the entire trail. The LAKE had flooded. This is odd, because it's fairly isolated from the river, so it almost never floods. "Well played, Lake," I said, and turned tail and headed back to where I came from before.

I made it back past Flooded Park #1 after about an hour 40. Of course, because people are weird and gross, I saw an opened condom on the ground that had definitely NOT been there on my way out, because I would have noticed it. So sometime between 7:30 and 8:30 AM on a Saturday in my small city, somebody threw a condom on the street. This is the kind of experience you don't get on a treadmill at the local gym. I headed for downtown Main Street and went south for several miles (stopping at my workplace gym to use the restroom and refill my water). At the dog park I made a right and headed toward the local college campus that is a couple miles from my house. At this point I was totally improvising based on areas I thought would be dry enough to walk on, and give me enough distance to at least clear 14 miles. It was okay if I went a bit farther, since I'd been doing 14s for weeks, but I did not want to shortchange myself. As I stated in an earlier blog post, I do not wear a GPS watch. I wear a cheapo $35 Timex Ironman and I carry 24 oz of Powerade (now watered down), and the clothes on my back. Very low-tech.

After about 12 miles I reached campus. Seeing all the lithe youngsters in their teeny shorts was truly inspiring. I was trying to figure out how far I'd gone. In fact, I made it all the way home feeling pretty good physically just by daydreaming about how maybe I'd gone 15 miles, and what a pace it would be! I got back to the house in 3:13, with no clue what that actually meant, pace-wise. I mapped it out and was disappointed that it was only 14.6 miles. But I did learn a couple lessons about walking in a flood-pocalypse.

1) When the ground is wet and lightly covered in sand, dirt, or leaves, it is hard to keep a fast pace. Not only do slippery conditions make people's strides change slightly (trying subconsciously to keep balance and not fall), but since walkers' feet are in contact with the ground so much, they can actually slide back a little bit on each step. If you conservatively estimate that your foot slides back 1/4" each step, with 1600 steps per mile, that's 400 inches per mile farther that you have to walk. I basically walked at least 1/10th mile farther just from slipping around.

2) It's much easier to focus when things go as planned. If you are uncertain of where you need to go, you will slow down subconsciously.

3) Walking on a cloudy day is AMAZING. Highly recommended.

The good: I felt great. Hips were loose. Cardio was on point. Refueling was on point. I have 3 more months of training and I'm already near a PR marathon pace in suboptimal conditions (and at a PR marathon pace in better conditions) for long workouts. This is where a walker wants to be!