Race Recap: Spartan Ohio Trifecta Weekend

 Spartan Beast, Super and Sprint Ohio, 6/18-19/22 Bloomingdale, OH

Weather: 70 degrees, sunny

Terrain: Grasslands, forest, hills

Garmin Data Beast: 13.4 miles (includes 2 penalty loops); 2,150' elevation gain

Garmin Data Super: 7.9 miles (includes 1 penalty loop); 1,500' elevation gain

Garmin Data Sprint: 4 miles; 825' elevation gain

(Slightly inaccurate) Course Map

Spartan Ohio decided to pull an epic switcheroo this year. Instead of the usual venue of Southington Off-Road Park, we would now be at Renegade Ridge Off-Road Park, which was located somewhat southeast. "Yeah, but Ohio is pancake-flat, it'll probably be about the same." HA. HA HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. *inhales* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay, now that we've got that out of our system. Wes and I were reuniting Team Strugglebus for yet another epic trifecta weekend in Ohio. Our run fitness has improved since last year, so we were hoping to not quite need the struggle BUS. Maybe a Struggle Wagon, or a Struggle Bicycle. We carpooled to the Beast on Saturday and were pleased with the easy parking and walk to the festival. Tragically, I discovered that Spartan had changed our start times since I'd last checked (on freakin' THURSDAY), but no matter, it was only 15 minutes later. Since the weather was unseasonably cold and we were thus unprepared, we purchased overpriced sweatshirts so that we wouldn't die. The festival was easy to navigate and we started on time. 

We took off jogging in a lovely field with gentle up- and downslopes. It was immediately apparent that this course would be hilly, ranging from "rolling" to "YIKES." At the top of the first "technically rolling but LONG" hill was a single overwall, then we navigated downward to a 6' wall. Note that I say "we" to refer not only to the race in general, but to myself and Wes, as we would occasionally separate and reunite as he jogged more but failed something (allowing me to catch up). After that was a jaunt through a slightly muddy forest, then Olympus around the 1-mile mark. I failed it immediately, as usual, and set off down the penalty loop trail, which was blessedly short (less than 0.2 miles). Turns out several obstacles had penalty loops, all of them fairly short like this. Stairway to Sparta was a bit further along and in Beast mode, naturally. I received a boost from a lovely bear of a man. 

Mile 2 took us through a gorgeous meadow of wildflowers (make a drinking game out of "gorgeous meadow of wildflowers" for this course. Way better than the previous venue's "godforsaken tunnel of opaque water" drinking game) to Pipe Lair and our second water stop, which had Honey Stinger chews. Lots of the aid stations had these, and they were very popular. Great job, Spartan, for getting a sponsor to really go to town on these aid stations. Past here was Beater, which I am still 100% on for completion, followed by Bender, which was right after a mud puddle and therefore scary. That ladder + slippery shoes = DEATH. The Box was another boost, but Twister was all me. Wes was doing penalty loops a-go-go which was surely adding to his distance, but since neither of us had done much obstacle training beforehand I was pretty shocked that I was clearing stuff and wondered when my luck would run out.

Thankfully it didn't run out on the next obstacle, Tyro Traverse, which I cleared even more easily than in Attica (no cramps at all!). I saw Wes approaching it as I was leaving, so I figured he'd catch up to me in a few minutes. We were now in the Beast-only section of the map, which had much lower obstacle density and therefore more running. I was able to jog a good bit myself as I made it to a fairly gross barbed wire crawl through a few mud puddles, then down a long gravel/dirt road which had Spartans 2.5-3 miles ahead of us coming the other way. Used a port-a-potty at mile 5.5, then got over the 8' wall by myself by being JUST tall enough to jump and grab the top. There was supposed to be a plate drag after this but it didn't end up happening, which is a bummer. It's one of my best obstacles. Instead we went straight to Irish Tables, which again is a tall woman's dream obstacle (a tall narrow platform you are meant to get over - women's is 5'). The men's seemed to be even taller than usual (definitely over the 6' standard), and I'm honestly not sure how they did it. Miles ticked by and I wondered where Wes was. Armer was easy enough to waddle through. Finally after mile 8 Wes appeared, saying the woman in front of him fell off Tyro and got a concussion. Yikes. This shit is way too dangerous. More on that later.

After mile 9 we reunited with the Super course to do a 7' wall, then another barbed wire crawl (which would be the only crawl on the course for the other two races). It was not as muddy, but it was somehow worse, because the ground was rutted, rocky, and hard. Most people just stood up and walked in between the wires because crawling would be excruciating. At least there was finally a photographer!

Rutted, gutted, rotted

After the barbed wire was an aid station and a great view of the upcoming sandbag carry, which appeared to be straight up the world's steepest hill. I heard several "NOPES" from terrified individuals. But first thing's first: get over that same hill, then back down the other side to loop back to the festival area for a good little obstacle gauntlet with lots of spectators! Whee! First was the bucket carry, which wasn't terribly long or difficult, thank goodness. There was a photographer here too to capture the general mood of those of us who had already traveled 10 miles and had seen the upcoming sandbag carry.

That mood: "ugh"

Next was Herc Hoist, which seemed a bit heavier than usual. People were failing it, so it must have been. My rope gloves were a big help. I kept them out through the spear throw, which Wes had already done and I had no idea if he'd hit it or not (you'll recall our curse, wherein if one of us hits the spear in any given race, the other WILL miss it, guaranteed). I missed, so I knew he'd hit it. Instead of doing burpees, I'd already decided to do situps, since burpees have pushed my collarbone out of alignment one too many times and frankly I'm only doing them if I HAVE to (like in the Stadion age group). I saw Wes coming off the rope and asked him if he'd indeed hit his spear, even though I already knew the answer. Yup. I got up the rope (I'd kept my gloves out for this purpose) and back down, then finally put the gloves away and left the festival gauntlet to climb BACK OVER the big hill, then down the other side, which put us back at the base of the hill for the Sandbag Carry of Doom. Bins held pancake-style sandbags rather than the usual long ones, and they were clearly labelled with the weights (women's 40 lb, men's 60). I grabbed a 40, shouldered it, and soldiered on up the steep, sandy/rocky hill. Thankfully the footing was okay, at least on the one narrow strip of ground in the middle, but on a 35-degree slope you just hope the person in front of you has decent shoes. After two rest breaks I made it to the top, then quickly realized that coming back down was way worse. Maybe the cardio was easier, but we all genuinely felt like we were going to die. Finally I deposited my sandbag back in the bin and chugged some water at the nearby aid station before doing Atlas Carry. I was so happy to be done picking up heavy shit for the day, but there was still a few miles to go.

Up and over the slip wall, which had short ropes and took me two tries to grab despite it being bone-dry. Next was the inverted wall, then a long trek out out out farther and farther from civilization until I was like JIMINY CHRISTMAS, then we finally turned around and did some damn monkey bars. They had some decent sized gaps but at least my hands were dry and the bars were dry. Not a tough clear. And I caught back up to Wes at last!

If you didn't stick your tongue out, did you even do a grip obstacle?

We stayed together, as running was becoming more of a challenge. Two Hurdles, then Helix and the Z-wall back to back in the woods. Past mile 12 to the multi-rig, which had rings, a horizontal bar, and the same plastic-y thick ropes as Attica. They stopped me dead in my tracks and I fell right off when I tried to skip one and grab the second rope. Wes and I did the penalty loop, which was the longest one of the day at about 0.25-0.3 miles. Then yet another long slog through the woods. Up and down. Rolling hills. Ceaselessly rolling. Finally we saw the final gauntlet leading into the festival area. First was rolling mud and the dunk wall, which I skipped. I'd perforated my eardrum a few days before (great timing, right?) and submerging in absolutely filthy water would have been very ill-advised. As Wes made his way through, I did 30 situps over to the side and watched a bunch of confused and petrified people trying to get through the steepest, rockiest "rolling mud" I have ever seen in my life. Then the dunk wall water was only about 2 feet deep. As I did my situps, I thanked Jesus for perforating my eardrum so that I'd have a guilt-free excuse to not do the dunk wall at all this weekend.

Not far away was the vertical cargo with the platform. Except the ground in front of the platform was extremely mucky, and the platform itself tilted down. All of this came together perfectly so that, as I jumped up to flop and turn onto the platform, I slid right back down, landed awkwardly on my feet, then fell directly onto my butt. SPLAT. And now my ass is covered in mud and the spot where I sprained my foot 2.5 years ago feels tweaked. Ugh. I managed to wrestle myself back onto the platform and climb up and over, then do the A-frame cargo and jump over the fire to finish in a personal-best 4:22. A HUGE personal best. By well over an hour.

I believe I can fly.

Got cleaned up at the lukewarm hoses, changed in the empty changing tent, and went back to the hotel to eat and recover. Overnight my foot still felt pretty bad but I figured after a bit of sleep it would be okay. It wasn't reinjured, I thought, just aggravated. This old body is getting rickety. Sure enough it felt fine when I woke up, especially after putting my shoes on, and I drove back to the venue feeling very optimistic. This was going MUCH better than my previous Ohio trifecta weekend. Going into day 2 uninjured was major, as was knowing that the terrain was very doable and there would be no surprises.

Except surprise! After starting the Super, then failing Olympus (as is my wont), we went through an area that did not look familiar to ANYBODY on the course. It was mucky and dangerous and slippery as hell. Thankfully it was over after about half a mile, but yeesh. We were all gobsmacked that they would change our route from Olympus to Stairway for no apparent reason. It should have been our first clue that the map would not be accurate, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Stairway was in normal mode and I actually got up by myself for the first time since they'd changed the material to that super slippery crap! I did it by grabbing the top of the slippery wall, then doing a mini-pullup and grabbing one rung up, then another to grab another rung up. From there it was easy to hike my hip up and get a foot on. Huzzah! 

Going up the beautiful wildflower meadow (drink!) towards Beater again, a group of guys were nearby, and one of them joked "anyone else feel like singing 'The Sound of Music' right now?" After one second of hesitation, I channeled my inner Maria and sang "the hills are aliiiiive with the sound of music," and the guys were like YES and CLAPPING and saying WOW WHAT A VOICE without a trace of sarcasm, and honestly it felt better than clearing Olympus ever could. Plus I cleared Beater yet again. Bender was easier this time because I followed some folks slightly off course to avoid the previous day's mud puddle beforehand. Wes boosted me on The Box before going off on the penalty loop. His arm had been bugging him so he was taking fewer chances, but I managed to get Twister again because thankfully my arms, although sore, were still fully functional, at least for now.

Instead of turning left after Twister like the Beast did, the Super went straight towards the 7' wall, then that infernal barbed wire crawl. Up and over the Big Hill (this was essentially the main hill of the course, between the festival/parking and many of the obstacles). This time we were close to mile 5 as we did the bucket carry. I had a sneaking suspicion that this course would not be the "under 7 miles" indicated on the map.

"Sup, guys! I brought a 5-gallon bucket of pebbles!"

Herc hoist went same as Saturday, as did the spear (except this time I got to WATCH Wes hit the spear before I failed). Rope climb was feeling tougher today. I could tell my grip was getting a bit fatigued, but it just needed to hang in there a few more hours. The from here on went the same as yesterday for the most part. I chose a worse lane on the Z-wall and slipped off briefly. Turns out the wall was tilted a bit backwards. Pro tip: look at the damn walls before you pick one. The multi-rig was rings only which was nice, but my left-hand grip was so tired I needed to take an extra swing and match on each ring that hand was leading. Vertical cargo was easier without the platform, even though it hurt my raw hand skin, and we finished the 8-mile (!) course in over 3 hours. Tragic.

Forgot to mention that we took several videos! Enjoy!

We were supposed to start the Sprint at noon, but that wouldn't be possible now, so we just picked up our packets and got ready as quickly as we could, then jumped in to start with the 12:15 wave. At this point, as expected, we were totally over this awesome venue and awesome course. If you've never done a trifecta weekend, you may not know how much more cursing you progressively do throughout the day. Lots of F-bombs were being dropped, and not just by me/us. Thankfully we just went straight up to the overwall and barbed wire, then turned around and came back to the bucket carry. No more faffing about, we know exactly what we are in for, and it's just gonna be the last three miles or so YET AGAIN. 

Okay, maybe a LITTLE faffing about.

One last spear throw. It was our last chance to break our curse this weekend. We'd decided I would go first, since I was due for a damn spear hit. And it happened. I stuck it. Then Wes picked up the spear. Threw. STUCK. Oh my god. It was our own two-person liberation of France. You cannot even imagine the weight that had been lifted off our shoulders. As we shared a sweaty hug I'm sure onlookers wondered WTF our deal was. But that spear invigorated us. We were ALIVE, dammit. The great feeling lasted right up until that fucking sandbag carry.

By the time I got to the monkey bars, I knew I was getting pretty damn tired, and sure enough I slipped off the bars about 2/3 of the way through. I did situps quickly and hoped that I wouldn't fail the rings because I was too tired for that stupid penalty loop. I did, in fact, clear the rings. No more grip obstacles, and thank goodness, because not only was my grip strength shot to hell, my hands felt like they'd been taken to a power sander. Skipping the dunk wall yet again (there was a photographer there for the Super and Sprint but WHO CARES), then did the cargo net stuff and jumped the fire in about 1:42. Praise the lord.

And praise the Lord for this UNBELIEVABLE FINISHER PIC.

Got cleaned up as best I could, then drove six hours (halfway home) to stay in the same hotel I always stayed at for the Attica races. Ah, how my Spartan journey has evolved. In my first Beast I failed 7 obstacles. In last year's Ohio Trifecta Weekend I either skipped or failed a TON of stuff because of my sprained ankle on day 1. This year I only failed 6 obstacles total all weekend, and only skipped the dunk wall because that was literally doctor's orders. I'm definitely coming back next year.

And y'all...a Pride-themed logo. FLAWLESS.

Pros:

-New venue is challenging and gorgeous.

-Obstacles were well suited to a tall woman such as myself.

-We got EXTREMELY lucky with the weather. Threaded the needle between heat waves.

Cons:

-Obstacle spacing had similar challenges to previous venue.

-Rolling mud and dunk wall looked RIDICULOUS.

-Don't change heat times within days of the event, Spartan.

Race Grade:  A. Fantastic event. Love the new venue, even with nearly a mile of vertical gain over 25.5 miles.

Link to Super video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcfFllZzU_E

Race Recap: Madtown Half Marathon

 Madtown Half Marathon, 5/29/22, Madison, WI

Weather: 65 and sunny

Terrain: Roads and paved trails

Distance: 13.1 miles (Garmin: 13.15 miles)

Elevation Gain: approx. 530 feet

Course map

Usually when people find out that both my husband and I like running races, their first question is "do you run together?" And usually I just start laughing, because not only do we not run similar paces (like AT ALL), it is logistically almost impossible for us to even do the same race, since somebody's gotta watch the kid (who is, let's face it, far too young to appreciate the unique misery of long distance running himself). Fortunately on this occasion, and in this location, my mom was able to babysit, and so Husband and I could finally do a race together for the first time in years. We even booked a hotel with a little waterpark just to make this easier for all involved.

Packet pickup was the day before the race, and luckily was on the west side of town just a few exits away from the aforementioned hotel. It was outdoors and was very quick and easy. The shirt was cute and a great fabric, and had specific men's and women's cuts. Free Dunkin Donuts coffee coupons were flowing like wine. The following morning we set out bright and early for downtown and found free street parking right by the Capitol. Checked a bag and got in the port-a-potty line about 15 minutes before race start. Tragically, the port-a-potties were not adequate in number, and a lot of clueless 5K runners were clogging up the line (their race started 15 minutes after the half, so it would have been prudent for them to GTFO of line once it was 6:55 AM). As it happens, Husband and I missed the gun and so were about 90 seconds late crossing the line. He darted off ahead to fight his way through the throngs, and I started chugging along at a much more moderate pace.

The course starts off largely downhill, since the Capitol is up high, and we wound our way down towards the student union at around mile 1.5. Then came our first big hill on Observatory Drive, which is essentially a giant switchback. Pro tip: powerhike. Then we came back down the other side right through the heart of campus. I was having flashbacks to the semester I spent here in Fall of 2004. "Oh yeah, that's the building where I had that child development class I rarely attended!" Memories. Then past the dorms. "Oh yeah, there's where my friends and I got drunk and played tennis for some reason!" Turning onto University Ave around mile 3. "Oh yeah, that's the shitty apartment building I lived in with my ex!" We finished our campus tour by passing Camp Randall stadium (home of the Badgers) at mile 4. Since I never attended any football games, my only memories of here involve, well, jogging past it.

We got the olive-green memo.

Turning away from campus, I knew I was in for a long jog to the arboretum (or "the arb," colloquially). Sure enough it was about 3 miles of gently rolling hills, during which I was thanking the good lord that my run fitness was feeling better on this occasion than it had in the weeks leading up. I hadn't gone further than about 6 miles in weeks due to, well, climate change. I played it conservatively and walked the uphills and jogged down, with some extra jogging on the flats as I felt like it. One big uphill stretch and we were in the arb, which I knew would be a net downhill. Time to open 'er up.

This is me opening 'er up.

Just before mile 10 we came out near the beach, and once we got through the park I saw it. At mile 10.6. THE HILL. It has about a 15% incline, maybe worse. It is a couple tenths of a mile long but feels longer. It is, in my opinion, the worst hill on the course. It makes the hill on Observatory Drive look like a speed bump. I had to literally push on my quads while hiking to get up, but dammit, I did it. Big thanks to the volunteers and spectators who basically screamed at me the entire time up.

Since that was the last significant hill, I enjoyed some gentle downslopes and wondered if Husband would be backtracking at all to find me. At mile 11.5 we turned onto the main bike trail through town, which was as flat as any rail-to-trail and felt great. By now I wasn't jogging nearly as much as I was earlier, but dammit, the end was in sight (figuratively, at least) and I still felt decent.

And my quads were popping, y'all.

At mile 12.1 exactly, as I was jogging down a trail exit ramp to head downtown, I saw Husband waiting for me! Wearing his finisher medal, which he'd earned almost an hour before. Welp. He joined me past the next (and final) water stop, where I asked the young ladies volunteering if they would throw water at me and they were happy to oblige! Winding closer to the Capitol and the finish line, a photographer took our picture, which is always a delight on a romantic date such as this one.

Sweatiest date ever.

I turned up State Street for the last quarter mile, which I vowed to run even though it was uphill. Husband moved to the sidelines and I finished strong. Got a finisher picture and some food, which was presented with gluten-free and vegetarian options. I picked donut holes and got my free unopened can of Michelob Ultra (which is awesome because I could save it for later), then got Husband to take my picture in front of the Capitol on the way back to the car. 

Beautiful workplaces are wasted on politicians.

(EPILOGUE: found out later that Husband actually won an age group award, which would be mailed in a month or so! Huzzah!)

Pros:

-Logistics. This race is run by pros and it shows.

-Course. Not only is it a beautiful tour of Madison, it has a good mix of rolling hills and flats (and that one godawful, punishing slope, LOL).

-Extras. Free pictures, extensive food options, the shirt is awesome, and seriously, if you had wanted, you could have taken ENDLESS free Dunkin Donuts coffee coupons.

Cons:

-Not enough port-a-potties near the start, dammit.

Race Grade:  A. It's a great one.

Race Recap: Cedar Valley Pump and Run

Cedar Valley Pump and Run, 5/13-14/22, Waterloo, IA

Weather: 70s and humid

Terrain: Roads

Distance: 5K (Garmin: 2.74 miles)

Elevation Gain: approx. 12 feet

I had never done a pump and run before. In fact, I hadn't done any earnest weight lifting since spring of 2009, when I was so burned out on cardio after my first full marathon that I decided gaining muscle would be a fun change of pace. But we all know that I love a challenge, so I agreed to pay American dollars to see how my lifting/running combo stacked up against other middle-aged women in the area.

The pump was held at the Sportsplex in downtown Waterloo, which is a fairly new facility and quite lovely. I arrived right as they were starting up, so I didn't have to wait. There was a scale to verify my weight so that we could determine the appropriate lift amounts. As a 150 lb female in my thirties, I was to bench press 75 lb and bicep curl 45 lb as many times as possible. Each rep would take ten seconds off my 5K time, which was to be run the following morning.

Honestly, I had no idea how this would go. I knew I was far more confident in my pull muscles than my push muscles. Sure enough I posted two reps for the bench, but ten reps for the curl. Two minutes off my 5K time. Afterward I entered a grip dynamometer contest at a booth, which I learned later I WON (I was the strongest-grip lady there with a 108-lb reading). I won a $20 gift card for a local brewery. Hell yeah.

Feeling pumped. Heh. Get it?

The next morning was a scorcher, so I showed up with my ice-cold Gatorade Zero and fairly low expectations. We'd had an unseasonably cold "spring" until race week, when the temps shot up to the 80s. Nobody was acclimated. But we went out there and ran our best. My first mile was awesome. My second mile was fading. My third mile was a trainwreck. Thankfully the third mile was short because this was the SHORTEST alleged 5K I have ever experienced. It was almost 0.4 miles short. People who were finishing and didn't have GPS watches were like "ermahgerd I just set a huge PR!" Girl. No. All things considered, I was happy with the short route, because I was dying. Really living up to my "cardio is hardio" tank top.

Long legs on a short course

It was a very small race so I stuck around for the awards ceremony, thinking there aren't too many folks here so maybe I did okay in my age group. LOL. Not even a little bit. Turns out there are a lot of slim and short running gals who didn't have to push nearly as much weight as I did, so their combined finish time was like ten minutes.

Pros:

-Location. Everything was easy to get to and park. 

-Novelty. It was the first pump and run I've seen in this town.

-Shirt is cute.

Cons:

-A bit disorganized. It would have been very easy to cheat the pump by saying you were lighter, since there was no real official monitoring of the weigh-ins.

-Cheaters? I'm not saying some of these gals DIDN'T put up 100 total reps, but...I doubt it. Wondering how lax the officials were with the movement standards because it seems impossible that anyone did that many full reps.

-Measure 5K, y'all. Or at least come CLOSE.

Race Grade:  B-. Fun but I probably won't do it again. Bench pressing messed up my collarbone until my next chiropractic appointment.

Race Recap: Des Moines Women's 10K

 Des Moines Women's 10K, 5/8/22, Des Moines, IA

Weather: 50s, windy, bit of rain

Terrain: Roads and paved trails

Distance: 10K (Garmin: 6.16 miles)

Elevation Gain: approx. 94 feet

Course map

I arrived in Des Moines on Saturday afternoon and went straight to packet pickup. The reason I enjoy this event is the swag, and this year did not disappoint. The fifth anniversary of the race meant that everyone registered for the half marathon got a backpack/duffel bag, in addition to the usual wine glass and shirt. Parking was a bit of a zoo but I found a spot along the road and was in and out quickly.

"Wait a sec, Clare," you may be thinking. "You just said HALF MARATHON but this race recap is for a 10K. What the bloody hell?" Hold on. I'll get to it.

The evening was spent carb-loading and pathologically checking the weather, which was supposed to be thunderstorming on Sunday morning. Sure enough, woke up on Sunday to crazy storms in the area. Before I even left my hotel, there was word that the start would be delayed from 8 AM to 8:30 AM. I delayed my hotel departure and arrived at the parking lot as the rain was letting up. Rode a shuttle five minutes to the winery where we would start the race, where we all discovered that due to not having any big breaks in the radar, we would be starting at 9 AM and all the half marathon runners would be moved to the 10K. Womp womp. But better safe than sorry, and I was glad that I hadn't legitimately driven all this way for nothing, so here we go.

The port-a-john situation was far better than in 2019, which was good. I stayed under shelter as long as possible and joined the corral a couple minutes before the start. People seeded themselves well and we headed down the winery road and turned onto Fleur, where I first noticed that there was a roaming photographer on a golf cart (my worst nightmare) but luckily he was roving somewhat near me! For once! Maybe all I needed for all these years was to jog a little faster?

Behold, the 10:30 pace that justifies photography!

We made the turn towards downtown and bam, wind. This wind was pretty severe, probably about 25-30 mph gusting up to 40. Most of the time it was a crosswind, but occasionally we had the joy of running straight into it. I looked forward to having it at my back. Spoiler alert: it was never at my back. We did an out and back on MLK and then started our journey to Gray's Lake. We passed condo developments and wound through a recreation trail, and the roving photographer's golf cart was right in front of me. Hooray! 

Except not! At around mile 3.5, we ascended one of the few "hills," and the wind was blowing directly at my face. I made a terrible noise that was somewhere between a groan and a gasp, and I saw the roving photographer's eyes widen and he raised his camera. Glad I could be a muse in this moment. It's what every race photographer dreams of, I'm sure.

Oh, the humanity!

Eventually I came off the bridge and turned, and for the first time all race the wind was almost at my back! It was at about 8 o'clock and only lasted about a quarter mile, but damn, it felt great. Then we turned again to go past part of Gray's Lake. But instead of going straight over the long bridge as usual, we turned and went through a tunnel away from the lake. The 30-second reprieve from all weather elements felt like a different planet. Emerging from the tunnel would have felt horrible, except...what's this? DRAG QUEENS. Performing for us, on a makeshift stage, at mile 4.5 of a women's 10K, in full drag, on a Sunday morning, in the rain and wind. HELL YEAH.

Heaven is missing three angels.

The moment passed far too quickly as the route weaved back through the park. The wind let up a bit and the rain was extremely minimal, and the flowering trees were truly gorgeous. It was easier to forget our misery for this stretch as we went out in a loop and came back behind the queens to go back to the winery for the finish. One last hill, then I sprinted to the end, honestly quite happy that I didn't have to run a half marathon in that wind. I still got a medal, plus my sangria, before taking a bunch of post-race food (BabyBel cheese! Cookies! Chocolates!) in a bag and taking the shuttle back to the parking lot to start my long drive home.

Don't worry, the sangria was weak (but delicious).

Pros:

-Logistics. This one was pretty complicated, with remote parking and a weather delay, but they managed to iron out issues from 2019 (like the port-a-johns, and the festival layout).

-Course. This is a really nice course that can be broken into easy-to-digest sections. Only complaint is that it didn't happen to go in a direction that would maximize wind assistance.

-Swag. This race has THE best swag of any race I've ever done. And that's a bold statement because I've done nearly 100 races in my lifetime.

Cons:

-Weather. Something the race has ZERO control over. But I loved how they handled the weather situation. They really made lemonade out of lemons.

-Shuttles didn't feel terribly COVID-safe, but I wore a mask and didn't die, so hooray!

-Could've used a garbage can near the shuttles on the way out. It was awkward to have eaten/drank stuff while waiting for the shuttle, then having to hold the refuse and hope the bus has a garbage can on it.

Race Grade:  A. Such a good event. Every Iowa lady-racer should have it on their calendar.

Chin-up Progression Episode 3

 

YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs_amtdybXc

Things are going well! 

Race Recap: Fools 5K

 Fools 5K, 4/2/22, Cedar Falls, IA

Weather: 35 degrees, snowing

Terrain: Slush-covered road

Distance: 5K

Elevation Gain: approx. 10 feet

Nothing like a 5K to bring my immediate family together! At my son's request, we decided to run this local race as a family, although I was planning to run ahead and try to get a new personal best. On Friday afternoon I went to the extremely easy packet pickup and got our shirts and bibs in a personal best "under one minute," which bode well. But that night I got a stuffy nose. And a bad headache. And I woke up for good at 1:45 AM feeling absolutely terrible. Shortly thereafter, the weather turned just as terrible, with big fat snow covering everything in a slightly slippery slush. A cup of coffee, a negative COVID test, and a shot of Pepto Bismol later, I figured "eff it, I'm just going to try my best." I knew a PR wasn't happening, but maybe I could get a good workout, at least.

We took off for George Wyth Park (my usual hiking stomping grounds) and arrived 15 minutes before race start to find plenty of parking right by the start line. Stayed in the warm, dry car until 7:55, then got out and into the corral just in time for the 8 AM start. It was rather congested for the first half mile but it eventually cleared out. I was taking 45-second walk breaks and keeping track of how many I needed total during the race (spoiler alert: 8). 

The course was a simple one, going out and back down the park road with an extra "finger" out to the Alice Wyth boat docks and back. This allowed me to high-five Son a couple times, who was indeed going a bit slower with Husband. Despite feeling sick as hell, I was able to keep up a decent pace, even though I knew I would certainly be over 30 minutes. The slush on the road didn't affect my run pace, but whenever I stopped to walk it felt a bit slicker because of the longer stride. This definitely incentivized jogging as much as I could.

In the lane, slow is glist'nin'

The course is incredibly flat, which was great. It was quite an easy little jaunt. I enjoyed how it was split up into easy segments that made the question "how much farther" totally irrelevant. I wish I'd felt great and had no slush so I could have really turned on the jets, but as it was I finished in about 31 1/2 minutes. Son and Husband came around 11 minutes later, and we enjoyed the finishing spread of chocolate milk and donut holes (there were also water, bananas, and coffee) before driving home, soaked to the bone from the big fat snowflakes.

YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upxk1Ai3XlQ

Pros:

-Course. Simple and flat. There was also a 10K running concurrently that just went farther out before turning around.

-Finisher feast. DONUT HOLES? Yes ma'am.

-Compact and easy layout. Super easy to park, start and finish close to the parking, just flawless (especially in bad weather).

Cons:

-Shirt isn't great. But I'm really picky.

-I wish they'd gotten more photos. Husband and Son got none.

Race Grade:  A-. Well-organized way to start the race season!

400-LB Tire Flip Tutorial

 

I show you all how to flip over a tire that weighs significantly more than you do! 

Step One: Squat down close to the tire. Get your hands underneath securely.

Step Two: Simply stand up. Don't use your arms. Don't use your back. Just use your legs.

Step Three: Use your knee to bump/rock the tire farther up until you can tip it.

It's that easy. Watch the video for the demo!

YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLCddLbzuyg