Race Recap: 2017 Hungry Turkey Half Marathon

Hungry Turkey Half Marathon (Des Moines) Race Report

When: Saturday, November 25, 2017

Where: Des Moines, IA

Weather: 40s, up to low 50s

Division: Open

This was my second year in a row doing the Hungry Turkey Half Marathon, but they totally changed the location and course this year, so I was interested to see how it would differ from the Des Moines Half Marathon I did last month. The start lines are mere blocks apart. Got myself a sweet suite at the Embassy Suites, which was an easy half-block walk from the start line of the Hungry Turkey. Arrived at 8:55 AM for the 9 AM start, which ended up being the 9:05 start. Tough when it’s not super warm out, but the weather was about as amazing as you can hope for in Iowa in late November. Low 40s to start, sunny, and not windy (10 MPH tops).

Unfortunately, my fellow walkers totally sucked in the first mile (before the half and 5K split). I got stuck surrounded by very slow 5K walkers, which is fine and expected. What I didn’t expect was that I would still be catching very slow 5K walkers for the entire first mile of the course. The BALLS on these folks. They had to have started on the damn line! Who DOES that? The first rule of walking a race: start at the back, fools. Anyway, I was dodging a lot of ignorant people for a mile. Once we split, I was basically alone, which was amazing.

In fact, this entire course was amazing. It was mostly on paved recreation trails, which is my favorite walking surface in general. And it was mostly through parks, giving a scenic, somewhat secluded setting for a lovely walk on a lovely day. The trails were open to the public, so we got to see cyclists and joggers and such enjoying their day. It is hard to feel sorry for yourself in a race when you see a dude with an artificial leg (and a brace on the other leg) hobbling around the park for exercise. Re: the course, like the Des Moines Half Marathon (DMHM), it takes you around Gray’s Lake and through Water Works Park, only this was in reverse order from the Des Moines race, which frankly allowed me to enjoy both locations more. It’s good to go through Gray’s Lake park when you are still lucid.

Along the way, the volunteers were amazing. Lots of teenagers with lots of enthusiasm. The police presence at intersections was also top-notch. Signage was stellar. No ambiguity over which direction you need to go, unlike at the DMHM. Water stops were spaced a bit far for my taste, and there was no Gatorade until after the halfway point, although once they offered Gatorade it was delicious. Orange flavored and perfectly mixed.

After looping Water Works Park, we spent the last 5 miles or so walking back to the finish line, making it basically an out-and-back course. This was great, as I got to see all the folks for large portions of the race, then enjoy some solo time in between catching up to folks. When runners start walking, I walk them down, and I got to do that 6 times in this race. We came back out of the parks areas with about 2 miles to go, which was nice. It’s easier to wallow in blisters and stride hitches when you’re alone in the woods, but with cars driving by it would be awkward. Yes, I had a few blisters, and my stride wasn’t flawless (I hadn’t done a long walk since DMHM), but I felt pretty damn good and was having fun, and my pacing was fairly even – I slowed down by maybe 20 seconds per mile, very gradually. Basically, my back half was 2 minutes slower than my front half. Not bad at all.

Crossed the finish line in 2:57, which is way better than I thought I would do (I figured I’d be between 3 flat and 3:05), and 2 ½ minutes faster than DMHM. I immediately grabbed my medal, a bottle of water, and a huge, packaged cinnamon roll, which was the only swag offered, and walked back to the Embassy Suites with a smile on my face.

Good: 

-course. Amazing. Perfectly spaced mile markers. Probably the best I’ve ever seen, in both categories. Pretty flat but with a few small hills throughout at just the right times to mix up the muscles.

-shirt. They offered a hoodie this year that is way superior to last year’s ¼-zip. The sleeves are long enough for gangly me.

-cinnamon roll. This thing was GOOD. I ate it in the car on the drive home. Probably a 700-calorie bomb. Much appreciated.

-weather. Not the race’s doing, but it didn’t hurt, that’s for sure.

-volunteers. Awesome group.

-organization. Extremely simple, but well executed.

Bad:

-medal. Very plain, and you get the same medal as the 5K folks, but it’s not *horrible.* I just have to nitpick a bit.

-start on time! (again, nitpicking)

-price. The race is a bit expensive ($50) considering the lack of a finishing spread. But what you get is good.

Race Grade: A. Fantastic alternative to the Des Moines Half Marathon in October, if you’re willing to risk that it would be very cold.

Crosstraining Cardio, Examined and Judged (Harshly)

It's that time of year again, when the weather turns horrible and going to the gym more often turns inevitable. If you're like me, the idea of spending countless hours a week on the "dreadmill" (as the cool old dudes call it) is torturous, and your gym's indoor track either doesn't exist or is very short. True story: I once did 18 miles on my gym's 14-laps-per-mile indoor track, a record that surely stands to this day because nobody else is as effing stupid as I am. Anyway, you may be thinking about branching out and doing cardio on other machines, just to quell the boredom. Here is what you should know about each one.

Recumbent bike. Pros: you get to sit down; it requires, by far, the least thought while you're on it. Cons: IT SUCKS. Seriously, if all you want out of your workout is to finish reading that library book, and to have a totally flat butt, the recumbent bike is for you.

Hand cycle. Pros: uses only upper body (no other cardio machine can boast that). Cons: difficult to use for extended periods of time; difficult to use AT ALL.

Upright bike. Pros: standard piece of equipment found everywhere; adequate substitute for a real outdoor bike ride. Cons: you better like biking, because if you hate biking, you will hate this. Either way, I will generally give a hard pass to any bike-related cardio experiences, except for the (VERY) occasional spin class, which is at least a decent sweat-fest.

Elliptical. Pros: low-impact workout that mimics walking semi-adequately; "rolling hills" setting does all the work of changing resistance and incline for you; easy to watch Netflix on (my gym now has that capability, so I watch a LOT of early-season Glee). Cons: the only machine more boring than the elliptical is the recumbent bike.

Arc trainer. Pros: apparently a lot of people like it. Cons: BIZARRE. What is this forward motion? You will feel NOTHING in your butt. (That's what she said.) Not a great crosstraining option for this reason. The glutes are the largest muscle in your core and demand to be engaged.

Lateral trainer. Pros: actually fun; gives you that hard-to-replicate rollerblading and cross-country ski lateral pushout motion. Cons: if you go too wide, it might bother your hips, knees, or ankles; if you go too narrow it DOES NOTHING (read in Rainier Wolfcastle's voice).

Rowing machine. Pros: uses a lot of upper body and core; good for days when your legs are just trashed; difficult. Cons: requires good technique and thought. Use this machine liberally if you have received proper instruction. You also can't watch TV on it, which makes it ill-suited for mindless miles.

Stairmaster. Pros: meh. Cons: these are not real stairs, and I hate them. It's tappy-tappy up-down garbage. There's a dude at my gym who would use the stairmaster for hours a day, holding himself up by the triceps, just tapping his toes down to make the pedals go. This blatant bastardization should not be *built into the equipment.*

Recumbent stepper. Pros: if you are over 70 years old, you will love this. Cons: if you are under 70 years old, you will hate this.

Stepmill. Pros: real stairs that never end; one hell of a workout, you WILL sweat. By far my favorite machine to crosstrain on, because stairs have incredible walk- and Spartan-enhancing powers. Cons: requires good core strength to stay upright, but you can build on that.

Race Recap: 2017 Des Moines Half Marathon

Des Moines Half Marathon Race Report

When: Sunday, October 15, 2017

Where: Des Moines, IA

Weather: 40s, windy

Division: Open

With a recent severe cold and sinus infection, my training had been majorly derailed in the four weeks prior to the race. Before that, I'd managed to get a couple 10-milers in, and I knew I'd be able to finish the race, but my previous goal of 2:50 would be out of reach. I set a new goal of under 3 hours and knew I'd need to keep a good pace and not fall apart to get there.

Arrived downtown about 45 minutes before the start - used the hotel shuttle, so I can't comment on the parking situation, which I'm sure was disastrous. The start/finish area moved a couple blocks away since last year, so once again I found myself unable to locate ANYTHING, thanks to Des Moines' consistently terrible start/finish area organization. Why is this so difficult? This year was even worse, because everything was spread out on this cross-shaped section of downtown, meaning that you had to go around the corner to find stuff, and there were no signs either pointing the way or labeling the areas themselves. Example: bag check was in a parking structure, and there was no sign on the structure telling you this. You literally had to wander around and hope to find it. I discovered after the race that there was a map posted on Facebook. Why they couldn't put the map at the expo, in the race program, or email it to participants pre-race, I have no idea. The port-a-john situation was good, though, lots of areas with multiple toilets so there was hardly any line. Much better than having one giant line of port-a-johns. 

I was near the back of the start corral and could barely hear the anthem, let alone any announcements. Crossed the start line about 6-7 minutes after the gun, which is decent. People had sorted themselves pretty well, considering there are no assigned corrals. Got a good pace going and kept it for a very long time. The course was flat, with the only hills coming at a couple of bridges (only one hill, at mile 11, was big enough for me to switch from hip flexors to glutes, so I was glad I had trained on flats - essential for this race). 

Miles 4-9ish are basically a huge out-and-back section, with a loop around Water Works Park at the end. This was great for seeing lots of runners, but it made for a tight squeeze on the fairly narrow road, especially when bike patrollers needed to go by. Mile 6 we saw an aid station with bacon (typical Des Moines, LOL), then a bit later a stage with people in unicorn costumes with rainbows on them hula-hooping to the song "Rhythm is a Dancer." NOW I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING. Honestly, this is EXACTLY the sort of fabulous entertainment that should be at *every single race on the planet.* It felt like I was watching a mini-challenge from RuPaul's Drag Race, which is exactly as cool as it sounds. Kept going and passed a run/walker who was "singing along" with her phone, which was playing...spoken word slam poetry. What the heck. I guess, if it keeps you motivated. It was no "Rhythm is a Dancer," though.

Mile 7's aid station was staffed by National Guardsmen, who with one exception were polite and encouraging. The one exception was yelling at people to stop walking and start running, that walking was for wusses. Um, bro, this is the 3-hour half marathon group. Walking is part of the plan. I think he thought he was being all drill-sergeant encouraging, but no, dude. No. Meanwhile I got a couple of "you are a FAST WALKER"s from my fellow racers, which always makes a gal feel good. 

After the out-and-back (where we were passed by the full marathon leaders at around their mile 20), we looped around Gray's Lake as always. There was a group of four near me and one of the dudes had on a flower lei. I was like "yay, you got lei'd!" Laughs all around. After mile 10 I started kind of feeling the pain a bit. My shoes were pretty new and I'd tied them a bit too tight maybe, because they were bugging. Bottoms of my feet had hot spots but no actual blisters. And my hips were fatigued due to undertraining, which I'd expected. Overall I felt pretty damn good considering I hadn't walked much in 4 weeks. I spent my time encouraging those around me, which is a good strategy for feeling encouraged yourself. Got up the one hill and over the bridge, then we went down MLK on a flat and wide road. Luxury!

After mile 12.5 we had to turn left into downtown for the finish, and a volunteer was yelling at us "walkers KEEP RIGHT! STAY RIGHT UNTIL THE END!!!" I was slightly right of the center of the lane so I glanced over my shoulder and saw...nobody coming. Whatever, lady. Also I was walking as fast as everyone else was jogging, but she was still yelling at me specifically to move my ass over. I didn't. I walked where I wanted to and was in nobody's way. We made two left turns and the finish was right there. And I hit it in 2:59:37 on my watch. Goal: achieved!

After the race I got my bag, stretched, then tried to find food. Couldn't. Asked someone else, and they helped me find it. What the HELL, Des Moines. People who are finishing a marathon need food RIGHT IN THEIR FACE at the end. Don't make people have to go searching for it in an alleyway (seriously). The food, once I found it, was great. Beer, nachos, pork sandwiches, pizza, strawberries, cookies, bananas, peanut butter. I wished they'd had those bags of Baked Cheetos but beggars can't be choosers. 

Good: 

-swag. Shirt was a much better color this year, and I bought a t-shirt that is super cute. 

-course. Flat, but enjoyable.

-bike crew once again has everything you could possibly want.

-medal is one of the best, every year.

Bad:

-weather, but that's nobody's fault. Just too windy for how cold it was. Hands were numb.

-start/finish organization. HORRIBLE. Inexcusably horrible year after year. UGH.

Race Grade: B. Besides the start/finish area, this race is a solid one for those who want a good flat fall run. 

Sick, Bro!

It is cold and flu season, so it's time to review the guidelines to when to exercise when you are sick. First things first: it is perfectly okay to NOT exercise when you're sick. Sometimes the safest course of action is to "sit your ass down," as RuPaul would say, and drink plenty of fluids until you are on the mend. But when you have a cold that lingers for weeks and races coming up, that can be difficult. So please use good sense when deciding whether to exercise, and follow these rules.

1) Do not exercise with a fever over 100. It is a terrible idea. If you are already running hot, exercise (which increases your core temperature further) is the last thing you should be doing. Fevers don't last long, so just sit your ass down and drink ice-cold Gatorade.

2) Do not exercise with a chest cough. Chest coughs can be a sign of a lung infection such as bronchitis, which during intense exercise can travel to your heart and kill you. If that sounds like a fun way to spend your autumn, whatever. If your cough is very "shallow," you can work out, especially if it is infrequent.

3) If you have a headache or sinus pain, you can work out, but you might not want to. These can be exacerbated by dehydration, and sweating is usually a bad plan. If you work out with these symptoms, take it easy.

4) If you have a runny or stuffy nose, you can work out. A runny nose might get nasty, though, and a stuffy nose might make it difficult to breathe. Something to consider: if you exercise outdoors with a stuffy nose, take a route that doesn't have too many bugs, because you will need to mouth-breathe.

5) If you have a sore throat, you are probably good to go, unless you suspect you have strep throat. Sore throat + fever = sit your ass down, perhaps in an urgent care waiting room.

6) Vomiting or diarrhea...please, don't. Even without the obvious practical concerns, you run a high risk of dehydration anyway, so drink your Gatorade and stay away from the public.

7) Sneezing is okay. If you have severe allergies, though, you might want to take your workouts indoors until your allergen is less prevalent.

Follow these tips and you might make it through cold and flu season in decent physical shape! And remember, if you feel too run down to work out, it is okay to take a week off. You won't get deconditioned at all unless you take off a few weeks. Take care of yourself first - the training plan is less important.

A New Kind of Interval Training

As we saw in June, I have gotten into obstacle course racing, which is a very satisfying way to cross-train for walkers. We develop upper body and grip strength, which is helpful with walking (keeping elbows at 90 degrees, and carrying bottles and such). It keeps things from getting boring (because let's face it, sometimes walking many miles every week and doing nothing else is a bit dull). It gives us a break from the same-old when we're burned out on cardio. And it makes us more well-rounded as athletes in general.

But pounding out reps at the gym is not always super fun, either. "There's got to be some kind of compromise!" we scream, remnants of protein bar flying out of our mouths. Good news: there is! Interval training! And it ain't your momma's interval training...assuming your momma does interval training. Mine doesn't. No, my favorite newfangled kind of workout combines walking and weights/calisthenics in a stupendously exciting way.

Two examples of my version of an interval workout:

1) Take something heavy (I have a 30 lb Spartan Pancake, which is essentially a round sandbag) to a local park. I have a pond/lake in my town that is surrounded by a 1.2-mile bike trail spotted with four outdoor exercise rigs. I carry my pancake around the lake, stopping at each rig to do monkey bars across, then climb through and around the outside of the rig, then maybe do some rig-related calisthenics (pushups, pullups, box jumps, etc) before picking up the pancake and moving on to the next. This mixes things up and keeps you constantly engaged, while at the same time giving you a distance to put miles on your feet. Imagine how much easier those miles will feel WITHOUT the pancake.

2) Mock Spartan Race. There is a free "outdoor gym" about 30 minutes from my house, featuring all kinds of interesting stuff - tire-flipping, arm ropes, A-frames to climb over, monkey bars, climbing ropes, etc. I have written out a workout that has about a dozen different "obstacles," and between each I need to walk a short (1/10-mile or so) loop in the area. You can do the circuit as many times as you want. Again, it's a fun way to keep your body guessing, and incorporate cardio into your workout so that you can have great all-around fitness.

Standard intervals are all about mixing up speeds, or "hard/recovery." With these sorts of interval workouts, you can keep the entire thing fairly difficult, while still being able to catch your breath and have fun. Win/win/win!

Fear the Unknown

"Stick to what you know." Seems like obvious advice...until we forget to follow it. And all of us occasionally forget to follow it!

When it comes to sport, particularly repetitive endurance sport, we want to make sure that whatever we put on or in our bodies is tried and true. You cannot wear a new outfit for a long workout, or try out a new pair of shoes. Your short workouts are for trying new things. You don't want to be stuck with shorts that chafe or a shirt with a weird seam somewhere when you have ten more miles to walk. And you certainly don't want to try a brand-new breakfast or mid-workout fueling plan when you have your most important race of the year on the line.

Sadly, there are times when even I get a bit careless and make a mistake. I screwed up badly on Sunday, you guys: I tried a new brand of sports drink. [pause for "GASP! NO! YOU FOOL"s]

I realized on Saturday that I had not purchased my trusty blue Powerade Zero for Sunday's long walk (10 miles), so I stopped at a Kwik Star and picked up a zero-calorie KwikAde fruit punch. Pretty quickly into my walk, I realized this was a massive error in judgment. Miles 1-5 were spent battling heartburn. Miles 6-10 the unpleasantness traveled to my small intestines and made me feel just awful. Oogy, as I say. Fortunately "an unpleasant feeling" was the total extent of it, but the damage was done, and my 10-mile walk was 5 minutes slower than the previous week.

It might seem like switching to a different brand or flavor of sports drink shouldn't be a big deal, but weigh the risks versus the potential benefits. At best, you will be fine, you may have saved 50 cents, and have an alternate option available if you forget your favorite again. At worst, your workout will be ruined. These are mistakes you want to make in your shorter workouts, if you must make them at all. Revel in the familiar; fear the unknown.

And avoid KwikAde!

Troubleshooting Your Blisters

I wrote about blisters a long time ago, but I realize now that I was remiss in not giving an extensive list of ways to troubleshoot your blister problems. I tried a LOT of stuff over the course of YEARS before I finally got down to the bottom of it. So here it is, a comprehensive list of things you should try if you get blisters "on the reg," as the kids say. I will start with the most obvious things at the top, and as you work your way down, you may find some very specific and/or bizarre-sounding advice that, no kidding, works like a damn charm if you have stubborn blisters. Between each number, just think the phrase "if THAT doesn't work, try..."

1) Build your mileage slowly. If you usually go 3 miles and decide to go 15 one day, yeah, you might get a blister or two.

2) You might be wearing improperly fitting shoes. Make sure they are a bit longer than your foot (to allow space for swelling), but not wider, unless your feet swell like crazy every time. Many people need a narrow shoe to avoid lots of sliding around in there, or might need a different shaped last (if you get large blisters in your forefoot, get a shoe with a narrower forefoot. Same with the heel). Running stores are notoriously terrible at helping with blisters - they are, after all, staffed by expert runners who have probably never had problems in their lives - but they can help you locate different-shaped lasts.

3) Consider orthotic inserts to get your perfect fit, also.

4) Socks make a difference, too. I like a thick technical sock (FitSox are my current favorite), bonus is it helps cuddle my narrow foot in my narrow shoe for an even more narrow fit. Some people prefer thin socks, but this is a shit idea, no offense. If you get blisters, go for a thick sock, because you might have weird sweat. My feet don't sweat much, but the sweat can be kind of sticky, which causes problems for me. The following are things you will want to try in an attempt to manage or even reconfigure your foot sweat.

5) Talcum powder. Put it all over your feet before putting socks on. My podiatrist gave me Sanabalm, one $6 container of which will last for approximately 5,000 years. I assume Gold Bond is similar.

6) Lotrimin AF foot spray. Seriously, I use this a few times a week before bed because even though I don't visibly have a foot fungus of any sort, it serves the dual function of instantly cooling my feet after a walk AND making my sweat less tacky. If you have tried a lot of stuff and still get blisters, give this a shot daily.

7) Drink lots of water and limit your sodium intake. Don't get me wrong, sodium is good, but cut it back to maybe 3000 mg a day and drink a gallon of water every day. Your sweat might change just enough to make blisters stop reappearing.

8) If you get to this point and are still getting huge blisters all the time, I don't know what to tell you. I have exhausted my troubleshooting capabilities. Chances are, for 99% of you, these tips will work. If they don't, go to a podiatrist who has experience with athletes.

9) Desperate times = desperate measures. If you still get blisters and want to try to prevent them in a more immediate way, the only ways I have found that work are either covering the typical blister area (BEFORE you get a blister there) with a blister band-aid or duct tape. Yes, duct tape. You can also apply a liquid bandage such as NewSkin to the area, although this does not work quite as well (it is more comfortable than a bunch of duct tape, but try it at your own risk, because blisters may form).