Why Shoe Reviews Are Useless

You may be wondering why I never post reviews or recommendations for shoes. The reason is simple: every foot is different. What works great for me would, statistically, probably be disastrous for someone else, and vice versa. For the record, I use a doctor-prescribed orthotic insert with the Asics GT-1000 4 running shoe in a size 11.5 2A. That is extremely specific, and therefore totally useless information to anyone besides myself.

Unfortunately, Asics (in their infinite wisdom) has chosen to end production of narrow (2A) sizes for all of their "less than $150 a pair" shoes. After purchasing lots of leftover pairs of my perfect shoe, I am running low on shoes and need to find a new setup. So here I thought, "how am I going to find a similar shoe? I know: read some reviews!"

As our orange president would say: WRONG. Turns out shoe reviews are totally awful and give zero information that anyone would find useful. Every shoe review I've ever read goes like this: "I tried the new Mizunike Air Magics, they are so comfortable on my feet! They felt like pillows! I went for a 1-mile jog and felt so amazing! I highly recommend these shoes!" What the hell am I supposed to do with this review?

What Shoe Reviews SHOULD Say:

1) Use the shoe for weeks. Not just one run. Tell us how they hold up over time.

2) How is the last? Is it narrow? Which parts are narrow? Which parts are wide? How is the length? Is the sizing as expected or is it short or tight?

3) How does this shoe compare to other shoes, fit-wise? How does it compare to last year's model?

4) How does it work for people with biomechanical issues? Chances are if you are reading shoe reviews, you have at least slightly picky feet. Yes, there are some folks that can choose a shoe based entirely on "cool looks," but they ain't reading reviews.

5) How is the value? Do you get a good amount of wear out of the shoes for the money?

With all my problems and with my narrow clown foot, I scoured these useless reviews for a couple of potentially useful nuggets. The key is learning how to read the review and not let a "negative review" faze you. Read it. I look for complaints such as "this shoe is so narrow it hurts," and "this shoe is really stiff." That is a sign that the shoe, even in a medium width, is more likely to fit me. Stiffness is a sign that the shoe might last more than 150 miles.

Learn how to write shoe reviews, and learn how to read shoe reviews. Your feet will thank you. And when your shoe ceases production (ASICS, you bastards), you will know how to find another one.