Going into the Abominable Snow Race, I was at a zenith for personal fitness. So lean. So fast (sort of). So prepared. A lot has happened since then. Let me lay down a timeline.
2/2: Race
2/3: Boot camp
2/4: Onset of DeathSoreness. I could, literally, barely move by 5 PM. Had to get a substitute trainer for my group class because I would not have had the muscle power to drive my car. It took all my focus to extend my elbow far enough to pump soap out of the dispenser. My triceps were literally at one percent function, which is about 14% lower than they've ever been before.
2/6: End of DeathSoreness, onset of DeathSickness. Horrible deep chest cough lasting all day and night. Barely sleeping. No medicine is helping.
2/11: Went to Urgent Care for DeathSickness. Nurse practitioner called me "a mess" and said I had pansinusitis, possible bronchitis, and accompanying viral infections in my chest and head. I said it was probably because I did over 5 hours of extremely intense exercise in one weekend and she said "YUH THINK?!" Went home with 10 days of antibiotics.
2/13: Took Son to doctor for possible DeathSickness, turns out he just has a cold. We are now up to $300 in medical bills for the DeathSickness, and that's WITH insurance, and not counting DayQuil expenditures which are approaching the GDP of several poorer countries.
2/14-15: Husband starts showing signs of DeathSickness, blames me and Son.
2/20: I'm finally feeling much better! Hardly coughing at all! Woop!
2/21: Onset of DeathMucus. Spoke too soon. Husband is still coughing and snoring so loudly that I'm still barely sleeping.
Also during these weeks, we have gotten about half a dozen major snowstorms in our area. Yay, shoveling.
Needless to say, exercise has not been a high priority. With my chest cough, I couldn't even work out really at all for the first week and a half, and then after that I've totally lacked energy and/or the ability to breathe. As a result, I am feeling quite deconditioned and unmotivated. When this happens to you (and it will, if it hasn't already), remind yourself of a few things.
1) Your body needs time, calories, and fluids to recover. Put all your energy into recovery, because if you try to "stay in shape" during this, you will feel even worse. Trust me, Husband has continued his morning workouts and it's not exactly helping his DeathSickness situation.
2) A person doesn't truly start deconditioning until they've taken 3 weeks off from exercise. I know it can feel like you are "out of shape" if you don't work out for one week, but that's not actual deconditioning.
3) It takes half the length of the absence to get back to peak form after you've deconditioned. So if you take 4 weeks off due to insane illness, it will take 2 weeks of training to get back to where you were. This isn't a bad deal.
So if you are dealing with a DeathSickness and have about as much energy as a cheapo AAA battery, use that energy to just get through the damn day. Don't go all Titan Games on your workouts. In the immortal words of Alyssa Edwards, "bitch, sit your ass down and shut the hell up, bitch!"
Sunday, February 24, 2019
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
Boot Camp With Coach Pain Recap
The day after the Abominable Snow Race, we were offered a chance to take a 2-hour boot camp with Coach Pain, followed by brunch. To misquote Jerry Maguire, "you had me at 'brunch.'" So despite having sore ankles, I set out on a slippery Super Bowl Sunday morning back to the ski resort to see what Coach had cooked up for us (brunch pun).
After a quick inspirational speech (and please assume that there were several inspirational speeches throughout this event, because we certainly needed them!), we got going with what would end up being about 45 minutes of isometrics and calisthenics. First Coach told us to sit. No, not actually sit, don't be ridiculous. SQUAT. No, not that low, that doesn't use the quads. Knees at 90 degrees. Back straight. Hands up. Now stay like that indefinitely. I do a lot of hot yoga, folks, I know the drill, but I didn't see a single person there who didn't have to adjust and stretch during what ended up being over 5 minutes of a held deep squat. And we were just getting started! After that Coach was kind enough to give our legs a break by having us hold the bottom of a pushup. Indefinitely. Here I was trying to switch between chattaranga arms and perpendicular arms and everything in between, but I kept falling out of it. We were maybe 15 minutes into this boot camp and I'd already achieved triceps failure. In other words, I was having a freakin' awesome time.
Along with a few other isometric holds that my brain has blocked out for my own protection, Coach Pain showed us 8-count bodybuilders, which goes: 1) squat 2) high plank 3) pushup 4) high plank 5) lateral leg jack 6) high plank 7) squat 8) stand. He would call out different numbers and we'd have to get to the position that correlated. This was some complicated choreography but I learned it quickly. For a while he kept calling out "1! 5! 1! 5!" over and over, which was right around the time I thanked Jesus that there were mimosas coming soon. We recovered from that with over 150 jumping jacks.
It was around this time that our Calisthenics Crusade ended and we shifted to the next phase of the bootcamp, which I will dub FUNctional Fitness Fantasia. We ran over to the tubing hill from yesterday's race and did crab crawls up and a weird slide down. Then we army-crawled out of the area and went through the Arctic Web obstacle, which I managed to get about 90% through during the race. I managed to get about 90% through on this occasion as well, despite my triceps already packing their bags in a huff and leaving the premises. Then we went to the big black diamond ski hill and the real fun(ctional fitness fantasia) began.
I will say this about Coach Pain: he does not need any fancy equipment. He needs our limbs and our effort and he works with what we've got. In this case, we had a steep-ass hill with a bunch of fuckin' snow and ice on it, and Coach thought "I can work with this." We must have climbed up and down that hill in a million different ways. We frog-hopped. We bear-crawled. We snake-crawled with our hands behind our backs. Crawled on hands and knees. Walked up with linked arms. Duck-walked up. Slid down on hands and feet going backwards. We were all so intimate with that hill by the end that we were seriously discussing marriage. At one point Coach had us pair up and piggyback a partner up the hill. My partner was a guy named Todd and I was quite concerned that my Amazon arse would be too much for him, but he handled it like a boss. Then we had to switch and I had to drag Todd up the hill. At this point I just felt sorry for everyone involved in this, but OCR people are total weirdos so we were secretly into it.
At another point we had to all lock arms and do flutter kicks for what must have been about 10 minutes. To be honest, having my butt on that icy hill was the toughest part. I felt like I was getting frostbite and I needed to keep readjusting and getting off my keister for a second or two. I finally found a decent position and was able to help out my neighbors a bit by grabbing their tights and holding their legs up a bit. Again, thanks, Hot Yoga, for preparing me for this insanity!
All difficult things must come to an end, so after about 2.5 hours of ass-whupping the likes of which I'd never experienced, it was time to get our medals (in a lovely little ceremony!), have a group picture, and get brunch. That hot coffee never tasted so good. If you ever have the chance to take a boot camp with Coach Pain, jump on it. We moved in very unique ways and I learned a lot that I can use with my clients and with my own training. Plus I probably added a half inch to my arms in just one boot camp.
After a quick inspirational speech (and please assume that there were several inspirational speeches throughout this event, because we certainly needed them!), we got going with what would end up being about 45 minutes of isometrics and calisthenics. First Coach told us to sit. No, not actually sit, don't be ridiculous. SQUAT. No, not that low, that doesn't use the quads. Knees at 90 degrees. Back straight. Hands up. Now stay like that indefinitely. I do a lot of hot yoga, folks, I know the drill, but I didn't see a single person there who didn't have to adjust and stretch during what ended up being over 5 minutes of a held deep squat. And we were just getting started! After that Coach was kind enough to give our legs a break by having us hold the bottom of a pushup. Indefinitely. Here I was trying to switch between chattaranga arms and perpendicular arms and everything in between, but I kept falling out of it. We were maybe 15 minutes into this boot camp and I'd already achieved triceps failure. In other words, I was having a freakin' awesome time.
The guy in the yeti costume is a sadistic voyeur.
Along with a few other isometric holds that my brain has blocked out for my own protection, Coach Pain showed us 8-count bodybuilders, which goes: 1) squat 2) high plank 3) pushup 4) high plank 5) lateral leg jack 6) high plank 7) squat 8) stand. He would call out different numbers and we'd have to get to the position that correlated. This was some complicated choreography but I learned it quickly. For a while he kept calling out "1! 5! 1! 5!" over and over, which was right around the time I thanked Jesus that there were mimosas coming soon. We recovered from that with over 150 jumping jacks.
It was around this time that our Calisthenics Crusade ended and we shifted to the next phase of the bootcamp, which I will dub FUNctional Fitness Fantasia. We ran over to the tubing hill from yesterday's race and did crab crawls up and a weird slide down. Then we army-crawled out of the area and went through the Arctic Web obstacle, which I managed to get about 90% through during the race. I managed to get about 90% through on this occasion as well, despite my triceps already packing their bags in a huff and leaving the premises. Then we went to the big black diamond ski hill and the real fun(ctional fitness fantasia) began.
Imagine seeing a bunch of grown adults doing this on purpose.
I will say this about Coach Pain: he does not need any fancy equipment. He needs our limbs and our effort and he works with what we've got. In this case, we had a steep-ass hill with a bunch of fuckin' snow and ice on it, and Coach thought "I can work with this." We must have climbed up and down that hill in a million different ways. We frog-hopped. We bear-crawled. We snake-crawled with our hands behind our backs. Crawled on hands and knees. Walked up with linked arms. Duck-walked up. Slid down on hands and feet going backwards. We were all so intimate with that hill by the end that we were seriously discussing marriage. At one point Coach had us pair up and piggyback a partner up the hill. My partner was a guy named Todd and I was quite concerned that my Amazon arse would be too much for him, but he handled it like a boss. Then we had to switch and I had to drag Todd up the hill. At this point I just felt sorry for everyone involved in this, but OCR people are total weirdos so we were secretly into it.
At another point we had to all lock arms and do flutter kicks for what must have been about 10 minutes. To be honest, having my butt on that icy hill was the toughest part. I felt like I was getting frostbite and I needed to keep readjusting and getting off my keister for a second or two. I finally found a decent position and was able to help out my neighbors a bit by grabbing their tights and holding their legs up a bit. Again, thanks, Hot Yoga, for preparing me for this insanity!
"Can't we do something easier? Like give birth without medication?"
All difficult things must come to an end, so after about 2.5 hours of ass-whupping the likes of which I'd never experienced, it was time to get our medals (in a lovely little ceremony!), have a group picture, and get brunch. That hot coffee never tasted so good. If you ever have the chance to take a boot camp with Coach Pain, jump on it. We moved in very unique ways and I learned a lot that I can use with my clients and with my own training. Plus I probably added a half inch to my arms in just one boot camp.
"Yes, officer, this is where the DOMS epidemic originated."
Monday, February 4, 2019
Race Recap: Abominable Snow Race
Abominable Snow Race 2/2/19 Merrimac, WI
Weather: 30s, foggy, calm winds
Terrain: ski mountain and forest
Terrain: ski mountain and forest
Distance: 7.5 miles
Course map
The first race of the year took place at Devil's Head Ski Resort near Wisconsin Dells, which is one of my family's favorite vacation spots. So I convinced my mom to come babysit my son and signed my husband up to do the Adventure (long) course with me. He's never done an OCR before but he is a great runner and a triathlete, so I figured he'd love it. Famous last words? We went to packet pickup the afternoon before, which suffered from a severe lack of signage, but once we figured out where in the lodge the pickup was and what line to stand in, it was just a (long) wait for our stuff.
The next morning we arrived about 30 minutes before my 8:45 AM wave and stayed warm by a heater in the main tent (the heaters were a nice touch, because although it wasn't still the 2019 Polar Vortex of 50 below zero from earlier in the week, it was hovering around freezing). I started on time and the first thing we did was go straight up the black-diamond ski hill. It was steep as hell. I am proud to say I managed to pass a lot of folks on that hike and got to the top in a speedy 4 1/2 minutes. My husband later reported that he was able to jog up the entire thing. :-/ At the top was a ladder wall, followed by a trail through the woods that gave us a sense of what we were in for. There was a lot of snow and it was extremely tough to navigate. You couldn't tell on any given step whether you were going to sink into powder or land hard on compacted ice, or (most likely) some horrifying combination of both wherein you land with a totally bent-sideways ankle. It reminded me very much of the Spartan Super Chicago, only with snow instead of mud. My husband started in a wave 15 minutes after me and when he went blowing past me on a descent, I only had 31 minutes on my watch. WOW. He'd be in for a long wait at the finish line.
The next morning we arrived about 30 minutes before my 8:45 AM wave and stayed warm by a heater in the main tent (the heaters were a nice touch, because although it wasn't still the 2019 Polar Vortex of 50 below zero from earlier in the week, it was hovering around freezing). I started on time and the first thing we did was go straight up the black-diamond ski hill. It was steep as hell. I am proud to say I managed to pass a lot of folks on that hike and got to the top in a speedy 4 1/2 minutes. My husband later reported that he was able to jog up the entire thing. :-/ At the top was a ladder wall, followed by a trail through the woods that gave us a sense of what we were in for. There was a lot of snow and it was extremely tough to navigate. You couldn't tell on any given step whether you were going to sink into powder or land hard on compacted ice, or (most likely) some horrifying combination of both wherein you land with a totally bent-sideways ankle. It reminded me very much of the Spartan Super Chicago, only with snow instead of mud. My husband started in a wave 15 minutes after me and when he went blowing past me on a descent, I only had 31 minutes on my watch. WOW. He'd be in for a long wait at the finish line.
This ladder will keep me company!
Just a programming note here: I'm not exactly sure of the order of the obstacles and I hope I don't skip any. Due to the extreme weather in the prior week, the course was changed from what was on the map. I do remember there were a lot of walls - an inverted ladder, 5-foot hurdles, O-U-T, a couple 4-foot walls with a crawl in between, and an 8-foot wall that I got up by myself easily (it was very walkable, thank god). At the top of the mountain was The Apex, which is ASR's version of Olympus and just as impossible for me. I could, thanks to my gloves (seriously, I wore cheapo stretchy gloves with Dollar Tree work gloves on top, and it was FLAWLESS), do it, but not for the entire traverse. A kind man offered to throw an elbow into my ass so I could get across it for fun. This turned out to be an obstacle that my husband couldn't do either, so I felt okay about that.
A few heavy carries finally came along later in the course. An ice bucket carry (women carry one, men two, and they're about 45 lb each) was blessedly short but still tough with the deep snow. I had Chicago Beast flashbacks to the deep sand. Another heavy carry was a wreckbag carry that was much longer, with 40 lb or 25 lb bags. I grabbed the 40 lb bag because I ain't no sissy. There were supposed to be more heavy carries (a sled pull and a tire drag) but the weather precluded them, I think. Very difficult sections of trail came in the last few miles, where you had to slide down on your butt and climb up with a net. We saw a gorgeous frozen waterfall, though, so it was very scenic when you were able to look up from the terrifying snowscape at your feet.
In the last couple miles came a Z-wall which was very difficult due to having totally blind corners. I had to get off this one and take the L. Turns out my husband "cheated" this one by holding onto the top, so we were 2/2 with matching obstacle failures at this point! After more forest, we did a longish crawl under paracord and came out by the finishing gauntlet. First thing was a slip wall (very slippery indeed, but I got up easily with my "bend your damn knees" strategy) with a cargo net traverse at the top which was creepy but fun. After that I gave my (done) husband my Camelbak and tackled the new Arctic Web, which was a cargo net that you climb underneath up a tilt, across a straight section, and down a tilt. It was tough. Very tough. Challenging on the grip and you needed to know how/where to place your feet. It also required a bit of a swing to get from the first tilt to the straight section. I was the only one on the net so it was quite loose and sank a lot, too (the men near me fell off almost immediately). I managed to get about 90% through this obstacle before my hands stopped working and my calves started cramping. Asked my husband after if he'd gotten through it and he laughed "NO, I fell off way before that." Success! And we were 3/3 with matching failures for the day!
The final obstacle was a hike uphill with a tube, then sliding down the hill. I hate tubing and am a big chicken so I didn't like that part, but I liked crossing the finish line in about 2:45! Turns out I finished in the top half of women, which was my secret goal. I took TWO bottles of water at the end, since I'd resorted to eating snow for the last hour after I ran out of my own water. Although I was signed up to go back out and do the short course, I had to get back to my long-suffering mother who had to leave for home by 2 PM and I didn't think I'd have time. Decided to save my strength for Coach Pain's bootcamp on Sunday (recap of that to follow!).
Pictured: the most stressful part of my day
Pros:
-Challenging terrain. Very challenging. The kind of terrain that'll get your ankles in great shape in a big hurry.
-Perks. Medal(s), shirt, beanie hat, chip-timed, free great pictures.
-Size. Small enough that there's no line for obstacles, but big enough to feel like you're part of something.
-Perks. Medal(s), shirt, beanie hat, chip-timed, free great pictures.
-Size. Small enough that there's no line for obstacles, but big enough to feel like you're part of something.
Cons:
-No water. This was really, really bad. I wish there'd at least been a pre-race email telling people to bring their own. I saw a lot of folks struggling out there. Medical personnel on course should ALWAYS have water!
-Packet pickup. It seemed a bit disorganized and the line was long and slow-moving.
-Put distances on the signs at the split. I had to remember whether I was running Adventure or Expedition, and it could have had the mileage on the signs (or even Long/Short). I heard about a kid who missed the cutoff and accidentally did the long course, eek.
-Packet pickup. It seemed a bit disorganized and the line was long and slow-moving.
-Put distances on the signs at the split. I had to remember whether I was running Adventure or Expedition, and it could have had the mileage on the signs (or even Long/Short). I heard about a kid who missed the cutoff and accidentally did the long course, eek.
Race Grade: B+. The race experience itself is very good, but I can't score it higher because of the total lack of water. I will definitely do this race again, but I'll bring EXTRA water next time.
Tuesday, January 8, 2019
Facility Review: Ninja U
Facility Name: Ninja U
Location: Cedar Falls, Iowa
Facility Type: Ninja gym
Back in the early summer I went to a shopping center and saw a sign from a distance. "Ninja U Coming Soon." I thought OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?! Turns out it is what I thought it was: a ninja gym. In Cedar Falls, Iowa. My town. Considering the nearest ninja gym was two hours away in Des Moines, I basically felt like I'd won the lottery. "I will go right after I do my Beast," I thought to myself. Then my collarbone started acting up and required a few months of TLC. I took advantage of a punchcard sale on Black Friday, but hadn't been able to actually get in and work out until today. The stars aligned and my collarbone healed, I walked in with no real idea of what to expect from myself.
Ninja U is basically a playground for adults. A slightly sadistic playground, but that's what us OCR fiends are into nowadays. On the main rigging there were three lanes separated by level of difficulty. My first stop was the Beginner Lane, which was mostly balance and agility. There were these fun vertical poles to traverse that basically made me feel like a much-taller Kacy Catanzaro in the Dallas City Finals. I also was able to practice my rope climb in this lane, which I was delighted about (I have no other opportunity to practice rope climb). There was also a small agility lane next to this one with more balance elements and some angled steps.
After I'd done the Beginner Lane a few times I felt ready to take on the Intermediate Lane, or at least a few elements of it. The swinging monkey bars were simple enough, as were the rings. I had more difficulty on the floating monkey bars, although it was certainly fun to try (I did manage to make ONE transfer, but that was probably more luck than skill). I had employee Thomas show me the technique for the floating boards, which the guys on American Ninja Warrior make look way easier than it is. I was able to use Thomas' technique to transfer from one board to another. At this point I felt very middle-aged and like I should purchase better shoes.
The Advanced Lane was practically empty, because those with the skill for the Advanced Lane would be able to throw themselves eight feet through the air between the different obstacle elements with no difficulty whatsoever. Thomas showed me a big lache between swinging frames and at some point in all this amazing display he revealed that he is only 17 years old, which made me feel much better about assuming that it was only my advanced age that prevented me from going all Drew Dreschel on this stuff. Yeah, that must be it. *ahem*
Ninja U of course also has a set of four warped walls. I was able to get up the 8' and 10' walls no problem. This was also a great opportunity to practice my Spartan wall climb technique - once I got hands on the top, I could walk my legs up and hook the ankle, or I could wrestle my ribcage up there. I did not attempt the 12' or 14.5' walls, because my aforementioned advanced age requires caution and buildup. Another section of the gym had a bouldering/rock wall, which I attempted and am terrible at. This will be great practice for Olympus, though, so I will keep working at it. There is a spider climb area, and that didn't go well for me today, but will be fun to keep trying!
A smaller rig with more grip elements let me practice angled monkey bars on the tilting ladders which, thankfully, don't tilt so much that I couldn't complete this obstacle. There were all different kinds of grips (round, straight, swinging, handles, balls) that I could not do to save my life. There was also a sprint ramp that times you, which I did not do today, but may do in the future if my shins feel perfectly healthy and I've had a lot of caffeine. The kids area looked really cute and my toddler would absolutely love it, so I will have to bring him sometime.
I was very impressed with Ninja U. The gym is spotless and padded and I was the only one in there (naturally, since I went at 11:45 AM on a Tuesday, like GET A JOB, LADY) so I got plenty of attention and instruction from Thomas. There are lots of different types of obstacles to practice on, and I think people of all skill levels could find a bunch of stuff to try out here. Things also seem to be rotated in and out on a regular basis so new obstacles and grips are coming all the time.
Things to keep in mind before you visit a ninja gym:
1) You may not be able to do a big long workout. My hands got sweaty and were essentially useless for periods of time. I will bring a bit of liquid chalk with me next time and see if that helps (regular powdered chalk is far too messy and should be avoided). Also the skin on my hands feels beat up, but I'm a tenderloin.
2) If your shoes aren't grippy, some things will be tougher. Not impossible, but tougher than they have to be. Don't wear your old tennies, basically.
3) Ask for help! Take advantage of having the gym to yourself and get some personalized tips. Many obstacles are all about technique. The more techniques you know, even for obstacles you can't necessarily do yet, the greater your arsenal for being able to complete obstacles in OCRs.
4) Warm up properly. Lots of obstacle training is deceptively plyometric, and you don't want to find out halfway through your hamstring tear that you were not properly warmed up before attempting the warped wall.
5) Test things out. If you see that something swings and you can reach it before you get to it, swing it and see how it goes before you get on and try to swing 160 pounds of your body weight on it. If there's a tilting ladder, tilt it before you're hanging on it to see how far it goes. Train smarter, essentially.
Overall I give Ninja U an A and I plan to keep coming on Tuesday early afternoons. Thomas will have his work cut out for him.
Location: Cedar Falls, Iowa
Facility Type: Ninja gym
Back in the early summer I went to a shopping center and saw a sign from a distance. "Ninja U Coming Soon." I thought OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?! Turns out it is what I thought it was: a ninja gym. In Cedar Falls, Iowa. My town. Considering the nearest ninja gym was two hours away in Des Moines, I basically felt like I'd won the lottery. "I will go right after I do my Beast," I thought to myself. Then my collarbone started acting up and required a few months of TLC. I took advantage of a punchcard sale on Black Friday, but hadn't been able to actually get in and work out until today. The stars aligned and my collarbone healed, I walked in with no real idea of what to expect from myself.
Ninja U is basically a playground for adults. A slightly sadistic playground, but that's what us OCR fiends are into nowadays. On the main rigging there were three lanes separated by level of difficulty. My first stop was the Beginner Lane, which was mostly balance and agility. There were these fun vertical poles to traverse that basically made me feel like a much-taller Kacy Catanzaro in the Dallas City Finals. I also was able to practice my rope climb in this lane, which I was delighted about (I have no other opportunity to practice rope climb). There was also a small agility lane next to this one with more balance elements and some angled steps.
After I'd done the Beginner Lane a few times I felt ready to take on the Intermediate Lane, or at least a few elements of it. The swinging monkey bars were simple enough, as were the rings. I had more difficulty on the floating monkey bars, although it was certainly fun to try (I did manage to make ONE transfer, but that was probably more luck than skill). I had employee Thomas show me the technique for the floating boards, which the guys on American Ninja Warrior make look way easier than it is. I was able to use Thomas' technique to transfer from one board to another. At this point I felt very middle-aged and like I should purchase better shoes.
The Advanced Lane was practically empty, because those with the skill for the Advanced Lane would be able to throw themselves eight feet through the air between the different obstacle elements with no difficulty whatsoever. Thomas showed me a big lache between swinging frames and at some point in all this amazing display he revealed that he is only 17 years old, which made me feel much better about assuming that it was only my advanced age that prevented me from going all Drew Dreschel on this stuff. Yeah, that must be it. *ahem*
Ninja U of course also has a set of four warped walls. I was able to get up the 8' and 10' walls no problem. This was also a great opportunity to practice my Spartan wall climb technique - once I got hands on the top, I could walk my legs up and hook the ankle, or I could wrestle my ribcage up there. I did not attempt the 12' or 14.5' walls, because my aforementioned advanced age requires caution and buildup. Another section of the gym had a bouldering/rock wall, which I attempted and am terrible at. This will be great practice for Olympus, though, so I will keep working at it. There is a spider climb area, and that didn't go well for me today, but will be fun to keep trying!
A smaller rig with more grip elements let me practice angled monkey bars on the tilting ladders which, thankfully, don't tilt so much that I couldn't complete this obstacle. There were all different kinds of grips (round, straight, swinging, handles, balls) that I could not do to save my life. There was also a sprint ramp that times you, which I did not do today, but may do in the future if my shins feel perfectly healthy and I've had a lot of caffeine. The kids area looked really cute and my toddler would absolutely love it, so I will have to bring him sometime.
I was very impressed with Ninja U. The gym is spotless and padded and I was the only one in there (naturally, since I went at 11:45 AM on a Tuesday, like GET A JOB, LADY) so I got plenty of attention and instruction from Thomas. There are lots of different types of obstacles to practice on, and I think people of all skill levels could find a bunch of stuff to try out here. Things also seem to be rotated in and out on a regular basis so new obstacles and grips are coming all the time.
Things to keep in mind before you visit a ninja gym:
1) You may not be able to do a big long workout. My hands got sweaty and were essentially useless for periods of time. I will bring a bit of liquid chalk with me next time and see if that helps (regular powdered chalk is far too messy and should be avoided). Also the skin on my hands feels beat up, but I'm a tenderloin.
2) If your shoes aren't grippy, some things will be tougher. Not impossible, but tougher than they have to be. Don't wear your old tennies, basically.
3) Ask for help! Take advantage of having the gym to yourself and get some personalized tips. Many obstacles are all about technique. The more techniques you know, even for obstacles you can't necessarily do yet, the greater your arsenal for being able to complete obstacles in OCRs.
4) Warm up properly. Lots of obstacle training is deceptively plyometric, and you don't want to find out halfway through your hamstring tear that you were not properly warmed up before attempting the warped wall.
5) Test things out. If you see that something swings and you can reach it before you get to it, swing it and see how it goes before you get on and try to swing 160 pounds of your body weight on it. If there's a tilting ladder, tilt it before you're hanging on it to see how far it goes. Train smarter, essentially.
Overall I give Ninja U an A and I plan to keep coming on Tuesday early afternoons. Thomas will have his work cut out for him.
Saturday, December 8, 2018
Bookin' It: Best Books For The Endurance Athlete On Your Gift List
I've been wanting to make a post like this for a while, and what better time than going into the holiday gift-giving season? I'm a voracious reader and have enjoyed a lot of books about running, or books of particular interest to those who endure. Here is a list of some books I have greatly enjoyed, along with Amazon links so you can find out more.
Endure: Mind, Body, and the Curiously Elastic Limits of Human Performance, by Alex Hutchinson. This book comprehensively explores all facets of human athletic endurance, both mental and physical. It is fascinating.
Off Course: Inside the Mad, Muddy World of Obstacle Course Racing, by Erin Beresini. This is both a history of the sport of OCR as well as a very cool personal story of the author's quest to complete the first ever Spartan Ultra Beast while recovering from severe tendonitis.
Blind Descent: The Quest to Discover the Deepest Cave On Earth, by James M. Tabor. Climbing Everest gets all the attention, but could you do it backwards? In the dark? With the very real risk of drowning? And what happens if you fall into a chasm and can't be lifted out?
Breaking BUD/S: How Regular Guys Can Become Navy SEALS, by D.H. Xavier. Some of the language in this book is problematic (anti-gay slurs), but the meat of it is good: what does it take to get through BUD/S and be one of the most elite warriors in the world? Surprise, it's mostly mental.
The Long Walk, by Stephen King. The only novel on my list, it's a dystopian story about 100 teenagers participating in the ultimate endurance event where only the last man (kid) standing lives.
Iron War: Dave Scott, Mark Allen, and the Greatest Race Ever Run, by Matt Fitzgerald. The amazing tale of the most badass Ironman World Championship of all time.
The Comeback: Greg LeMond, the True King of American Cycling, and a Legendary Tour de France, by Daniel de Vise. Learn more about the Tour in general and the greatest non-doping cyclist of all time in particular.
Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder, by Arnold Schwarzenegger. You will learn the value of work ethic. When everyone else would do 10 reps, Arnold would do 12.
Endure: Mind, Body, and the Curiously Elastic Limits of Human Performance, by Alex Hutchinson. This book comprehensively explores all facets of human athletic endurance, both mental and physical. It is fascinating.
Off Course: Inside the Mad, Muddy World of Obstacle Course Racing, by Erin Beresini. This is both a history of the sport of OCR as well as a very cool personal story of the author's quest to complete the first ever Spartan Ultra Beast while recovering from severe tendonitis.
Blind Descent: The Quest to Discover the Deepest Cave On Earth, by James M. Tabor. Climbing Everest gets all the attention, but could you do it backwards? In the dark? With the very real risk of drowning? And what happens if you fall into a chasm and can't be lifted out?
Breaking BUD/S: How Regular Guys Can Become Navy SEALS, by D.H. Xavier. Some of the language in this book is problematic (anti-gay slurs), but the meat of it is good: what does it take to get through BUD/S and be one of the most elite warriors in the world? Surprise, it's mostly mental.
The Long Walk, by Stephen King. The only novel on my list, it's a dystopian story about 100 teenagers participating in the ultimate endurance event where only the last man (kid) standing lives.
Iron War: Dave Scott, Mark Allen, and the Greatest Race Ever Run, by Matt Fitzgerald. The amazing tale of the most badass Ironman World Championship of all time.
The Comeback: Greg LeMond, the True King of American Cycling, and a Legendary Tour de France, by Daniel de Vise. Learn more about the Tour in general and the greatest non-doping cyclist of all time in particular.
Arnold: The Education of a Bodybuilder, by Arnold Schwarzenegger. You will learn the value of work ethic. When everyone else would do 10 reps, Arnold would do 12.
Race Recap: Frosty 5K
Frosty 5K 12/8/18 Cedar Falls, IA
Weather: 20 degrees, cloudy, calm winds
Terrain: roads and recreation trails
Terrain: roads and recreation trails
Distance: 5K
I decided to attempt a 5K PR to finish out a great 2018 season. The last time I'd attempted to PR at 5K was in spring 2007, so you can plainly see that I'm not exactly built for speed, but I had an ambitious goal of running in under 30 minutes and I wanted to see if I could do it. Most of my athletic endeavors are "hey, let's see if I can do ____," so this fit right in. The race had packet pickup optional the day before so I took advantage of that, and realized there are no timing devices or numbers on the bibs. My achievement, whatever it was, would be solely personal.
Before the race we were welcome to hang out in a local mega-church, which was warm and had plenty of space to hang coats, so I wouldn't have to schlep my car keys on the run. The rag-tag group of maybe 150 racers went out and got underway. The roads would be open to traffic but this didn't end up being a problem. We only spent the first mile and the last half mile on public roads, and there were hardly any cars (cops directed traffic at intersections, which helped immensely). There were lightly rolling hills but nothing that I couldn't easily run. Focused on pushing the pace the entire time and trying to stay relaxed with my breathing, and it worked well. There were no mile markers but I knew I was on pace the entire time. Fortunately I am very familiar with the area in this local race.
Crossed the finish line in 29:21, well under my 30-minute goal. Got a medal, too! The post-race spread in the church was delightful. Cookies, cupcakes and bagels, along with cocoa and coffee. Having a warm place to stretch makes a difference.
Before the race we were welcome to hang out in a local mega-church, which was warm and had plenty of space to hang coats, so I wouldn't have to schlep my car keys on the run. The rag-tag group of maybe 150 racers went out and got underway. The roads would be open to traffic but this didn't end up being a problem. We only spent the first mile and the last half mile on public roads, and there were hardly any cars (cops directed traffic at intersections, which helped immensely). There were lightly rolling hills but nothing that I couldn't easily run. Focused on pushing the pace the entire time and trying to stay relaxed with my breathing, and it worked well. There were no mile markers but I knew I was on pace the entire time. Fortunately I am very familiar with the area in this local race.
Crossed the finish line in 29:21, well under my 30-minute goal. Got a medal, too! The post-race spread in the church was delightful. Cookies, cupcakes and bagels, along with cocoa and coffee. Having a warm place to stretch makes a difference.
Pros:
-Indoor pre- and post-race. For a winter race this is an incredible plus.
-Lots of little surprising perks. Most of this was because of the Holiday Hoopla event it's affiliated with, but there were door prizes and a photo booth (and Santa pics).
-Finisher medal for a 5K. Yes please.
-Lots of little surprising perks. Most of this was because of the Holiday Hoopla event it's affiliated with, but there were door prizes and a photo booth (and Santa pics).
-Finisher medal for a 5K. Yes please.
Cons:
-Bare bones. If you are the sort who needs a water stop for a 5K, bring your own. Fortunately I didn't require water or a bathroom, although there was a public restroom at the halfway point.
-No timing. I was surprised by this, since it was put on by a company with "timing" in its name.
-Shirt is enormous. I got a medium and am swimming in it. On the plus side, the sleeves are long enough for gangly me.
-No timing. I was surprised by this, since it was put on by a company with "timing" in its name.
-Shirt is enormous. I got a medium and am swimming in it. On the plus side, the sleeves are long enough for gangly me.
Race Grade: B+. Cute little minimalist race with nice unique perks.
Sunday, December 2, 2018
Off-Season? More Like AWE-Season, Amiright?!
As in "awesome!" AM I RIGHT?
Okay, so maybe it's not awesome for everyone. But I love me a good off-season. I always make a list and formulate my goals for both the off-season and the next year in general. First, define "off-season." This is the time in the winter when races are either none, or few and far between. For me this year, this is December through April. I have two races in this time set up: the first is a 5K road race that I will be doing this upcoming Saturday. The second (well, and third) are the Abominable Snow Race, where I will do both the long and short courses on the same day.
My off-season goals are both specific and general, and are as follows:
1) run this upcoming 5K as quickly as possible, ideally in under 30 minutes (which would be about a 3-minute PR over the last time I seriously attempted a 5K, which to be fair was almost 12 years ago)
2) continue to develop my cardio endurance and speed, building on the foundation I have established. To that end, I plan to run approximately a half-marathon distance every other week. In the words of RuPaul, if you STAY ready, you ain't got to GET ready. My goal for 2019 is to go under 2:20 for an official half marathon. I'm about 9 minutes away from that right now.
3) develop grip strength. To that end, I am participating in the December Dead Hang challenge that I saw on Instagram. On December 1, I did a 1-minute hang. Today, 1:10. You add 10 seconds a day the entire month until the last day is a ridiculous 6 minutes, which will definitely not go flawlessly. But no matter how many sections I need to break it into, it will help my grip immensely.
4) improve flexibility. Now that my weird collarbone injury is getting better, I can actually participate in hot yoga again, and I am pleased to report that not only did I not lose any flexibility in my off time, I have improved it. I want to continue this trend until by the end of 2019 I can do "an ugly split." This is the 2019 goal I am least confident about achieving.
5) go from 2 chin-ups to 4. This would be just great.
Note that these goals are all actually objectives. They are actions that I can take that will directly create a positive outcome. Off-season is a fantastic opportunity to shore up your weaknesses, and you should seize it! If you have to take workouts indoors due to weather, so be it. Find binge-worthy shows and specials on Netflix and get on that treadmill, gurrrl. Or boy.
Okay, so maybe it's not awesome for everyone. But I love me a good off-season. I always make a list and formulate my goals for both the off-season and the next year in general. First, define "off-season." This is the time in the winter when races are either none, or few and far between. For me this year, this is December through April. I have two races in this time set up: the first is a 5K road race that I will be doing this upcoming Saturday. The second (well, and third) are the Abominable Snow Race, where I will do both the long and short courses on the same day.
My off-season goals are both specific and general, and are as follows:
1) run this upcoming 5K as quickly as possible, ideally in under 30 minutes (which would be about a 3-minute PR over the last time I seriously attempted a 5K, which to be fair was almost 12 years ago)
2) continue to develop my cardio endurance and speed, building on the foundation I have established. To that end, I plan to run approximately a half-marathon distance every other week. In the words of RuPaul, if you STAY ready, you ain't got to GET ready. My goal for 2019 is to go under 2:20 for an official half marathon. I'm about 9 minutes away from that right now.
3) develop grip strength. To that end, I am participating in the December Dead Hang challenge that I saw on Instagram. On December 1, I did a 1-minute hang. Today, 1:10. You add 10 seconds a day the entire month until the last day is a ridiculous 6 minutes, which will definitely not go flawlessly. But no matter how many sections I need to break it into, it will help my grip immensely.
4) improve flexibility. Now that my weird collarbone injury is getting better, I can actually participate in hot yoga again, and I am pleased to report that not only did I not lose any flexibility in my off time, I have improved it. I want to continue this trend until by the end of 2019 I can do "an ugly split." This is the 2019 goal I am least confident about achieving.
5) go from 2 chin-ups to 4. This would be just great.
Note that these goals are all actually objectives. They are actions that I can take that will directly create a positive outcome. Off-season is a fantastic opportunity to shore up your weaknesses, and you should seize it! If you have to take workouts indoors due to weather, so be it. Find binge-worthy shows and specials on Netflix and get on that treadmill, gurrrl. Or boy.
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