From A-Condition to Deconditioned

Going into the Abominable Snow Race, I was at a zenith for personal fitness. So lean. So fast (sort of). So prepared. A lot has happened since then. Let me lay down a timeline.

2/2: Race
2/3: Boot camp
2/4: Onset of DeathSoreness. I could, literally, barely move by 5 PM. Had to get a substitute trainer for my group class because I would not have had the muscle power to drive my car. It took all my focus to extend my elbow far enough to pump soap out of the dispenser. My triceps were literally at one percent function, which is about 14% lower than they've ever been before.
2/6: End of DeathSoreness, onset of DeathSickness. Horrible deep chest cough lasting all day and night. Barely sleeping. No medicine is helping.
2/11: Went to Urgent Care for DeathSickness. Nurse practitioner called me "a mess" and said I had pansinusitis, possible bronchitis, and accompanying viral infections in my chest and head. I said it was probably because I did over 5 hours of extremely intense exercise in one weekend and she said "YUH THINK?!" Went home with 10 days of antibiotics.
2/13: Took Son to doctor for possible DeathSickness, turns out he just has a cold. We are now up to $300 in medical bills for the DeathSickness, and that's WITH insurance, and not counting DayQuil expenditures which are approaching the GDP of several poorer countries.
2/14-15: Husband starts showing signs of DeathSickness, blames me and Son.
2/20: I'm finally feeling much better! Hardly coughing at all! Woop!
2/21: Onset of DeathMucus. Spoke too soon. Husband is still coughing and snoring so loudly that I'm still barely sleeping.

Also during these weeks, we have gotten about half a dozen major snowstorms in our area. Yay, shoveling.

Needless to say, exercise has not been a high priority. With my chest cough, I couldn't even work out really at all for the first week and a half, and then after that I've totally lacked energy and/or the ability to breathe. As a result, I am feeling quite deconditioned and unmotivated. When this happens to you (and it will, if it hasn't already), remind yourself of a few things.

1) Your body needs time, calories, and fluids to recover. Put all your energy into recovery, because if you try to "stay in shape" during this, you will feel even worse. Trust me, Husband has continued his morning workouts and it's not exactly helping his DeathSickness situation.
2) A person doesn't truly start deconditioning until they've taken 3 weeks off from exercise. I know it can feel like you are "out of shape" if you don't work out for one week, but that's not actual deconditioning.
3) It takes half the length of the absence to get back to peak form after you've deconditioned. So if you take 4 weeks off due to insane illness, it will take 2 weeks of training to get back to where you were. This isn't a bad deal.

So if you are dealing with a DeathSickness and have about as much energy as a cheapo AAA battery, use that energy to just get through the damn day. Don't go all Titan Games on your workouts. In the immortal words of Alyssa Edwards, "bitch, sit your ass down and shut the hell up, bitch!"