ReaLitieS of RLS

I am fortunate to have always had good health. I do not suffer from any chronic or mental illnesses. But there is this one thing. I have restless legs syndrome (RLS). Yeah, that "twitchy leg disorder" that many people think sounds either fake or ridiculous. All of the women on my dad's side of the family have it, basically. It's not serious. But it can be disruptive, and it is largely misunderstood. Here is how I experience RLS.

First of all, the sensation itself is, essentially, a physical anxiety. You feel like you need to move, or need to stretch. It can quickly go from being a very mild feeling to being a desperate screaming inside your brain. You NEED to stretch, but even if you fully stretch your limbs (yes, RLS affects both legs and arms), you will wish that you were double-jointed so you could stretch further. It's never enough. At its worst, I have been so uncomfortable and unable to get relief that I've cried, or had a panic attack (thankfully it only got that bad when I was pregnant). Someone sitting directly next to me would be shoved away when my RLS hits. Nobody can be in contact with me during the height of it, because the physical anxiety will agitate me too much. And the physical anxiety can be quite overwhelming and lead to, let's say, "snippiness."

Second, RLS attacks are not entirely predictable. The worst time to get an RLS attack, hands down, is while driving a car (this is a nightmare. I'll be sitting at a red light with my foot on the brake and my brain will start screaming at me to move my leg. Don't worry, I can consciously choose to override the voice, so I am not a road hazard, although it requires much suffering on my part). There are lots of DIY ways to help avoid RLS triggers, namely exercising/stretching a lot and avoiding alcohol and caffeine. I do the former, and don't drink much alcohol (one drink is enough to make my RLS flare up for the rest of the day), and keep caffeine consumption to before 2 PM. RLS is also much more likely to attack at night, while laying in bed. Which is super fun, to be laying there trying to go to sleep when all of a sudden you feel like you can't stretch your elbows far enough to be even slightly comfortable. The one good thing about RLS is that it's not constant. I've gone weeks without attacks. But lately I've been getting them several times a week. Hence: a blog post.

I will say this, though: there are a few pluses to having RLS.

1) I am a GREAT twitcher. My leg can bounce at a fabulous vibrato for hours. This is really handy when you are trying to entertain or burp a baby.
2) The twitching actually can improve your metabolism by burning up to a couple hundred calories a day. It wasn't until recently that I realized how much RLS contributed to my teenage ability to stay skinny despite eating like a horse.
3) People leave you alone when you're yelling "DO NOT TOUCH ME." Introverts like me love that.

So if you have RLS, you aren't alone. If you know someone with RLS, be patient. And DON'T TOUCH THEM!