Walking in the Streets

I realized I had left off an important facet of etiquette: walking in the street. Like, where cars go. And not during a race, where there are street closures and such things are A-okay. In my town (and maybe I just live in a really dumb town), a LOT of people walk in the street, and they seem incapable of doing it properly. Let's just really quickly go down the (un)common-sense rules of walking where cars are driving.

1) For the love of baby Jesus in the manger, DO NOT WALK IN THE STREET WHEN THERE IS A SIDEWALK AVAILABLE. The only exception to this is if there has been a recent blizzard and the sidewalks are covered in deep snow, but the roads are plowed. Even then, think about taking your workout indoors, because that shit is unsafe. I constantly see people walking in the middle of the street when there are perfectly good sidewalks on both sides. On that note,

2) DO NOT WALK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. I mean, really, folks. This is not a challenging one. Stay as far to the side as you possibly can. Which side? Let's see...

3) ALWAYS WALK AGAINST TRAFFIC. You should just assume that motorists are trying to hit you. Hell, most of them are texting anyway, so they might as well be trying to hit you. It's up to you to stay alive through your workout. If you are looking at the cars coming toward you, you can adjust course or jump out of the way as needed. Don't rely on being able to hear cars coming up behind you. Also, for land's sake,

4) DO NOT WEAR HEADPHONES WHEN YOU WALK IN THE STREET. This is just using a self-preservation instinct. You need every sense you've got when you are talking about two-ton vehicles coming within mere feet of you at high speed. With drivers who are posting on Facebook or Snapchat.

Again, if you can avoid walking in the street, do so. If this requires you to take a parallel street that has sidewalks, or go a bit out of your way to reach a recreational trail, do it. But if you must walk in the street, follow the above safety tips so you make it home. Or you could be like this one lady I saw, who was jogging WITH headphones, WITH traffic, WITH a baby in a stroller, IN the middle of the street, and she did not move out of the way when I approached. Although I didn't hit her that day, she may or may not be dead now. Who knows? This is why we have rules!