Guys. 2020 sure went out with a bang. Let's do this timeline-style.
December 4 (approximately): I notice my toes are starting to get a bit itchy at times.
December 7ish: A couple of red blotches appear on toes. I figure "great, athlete's foot," and start applying Lotrimin religiously.
December 14: Middle left toe has developed a painful purplish blotch on the bottom which feels like a blister but isn't a blister. Painful to apply pressure. I have tried two days of prescription antibiotic cream that I had left over from a prior staph infection, but there is no improvement, so I stop.
December 15: Because the Lotrimin has done NOTHING and my toe looks like Mitch McConnell, I go to urgent care to see if this might be some sort of particularly egregious bacterial infection (despite my unsuccessful treatment). Nurse practitioner says it's not bacterial, thinks it is persistent athlete's foot and prescribes me an antifungal cream. I start using it religiously.
NOTE: since the onset of the foot pain, I have not been able to exercise. It is bad enough to alter my footstrike.
December 20: Not only has the cream not helped, the red splotches seem to be spreading. My small two toes on each foot are swollen badly. When I curl my toes, I feel their bloat, and it is uncomfortable. Wearing shoes is unpleasant so I am barefoot at home most of the time.
December 25: Merry Christmas! I try to trim my toenails and it hurts. My small toes are so swollen I can't even trim them.
December 28: The red sploochies are entirely on my toes, but have spread tremendously and are all over all my toes on both feet. My middle RIGHT toe has gotten particularly gross. It looks even more like Mitch McConnell than ol' Lefty. Generally my feet have a purplish cast that looks like the circulation is even worse than usual.
December 29: I call my primary care doctor because I am starting to get Deeply Concerned. The nurse tells me she is out until next week (after new year's). She suggests I go to urgent care. I sigh deeply and reapply Lamisil (my new best effort).
January 4: I call my primary care doc again and make an appointment for the next day (Tuesday). I realize in a bolt of horror that this might be that dreaded "COVID toes" that we all heard about last May and thought "yuck, WTF coronavirus." Honestly, COVID toes would explain everything, and would be such a Clare way to experience COVID - the respiratory virus totally bypassing my excellent cardiovascular system and settling in on my weak-ass feet.
NOTE: I don't know where I would have caught COVID. I have not gathered with anyone for any holiday. My entire family lives out of state and I haven't seen them since Christmas 2019. My friends all take the virus seriously and we don't see each other except occasionally outside and distanced. I wear a mask to all indoor spaces and stay the hell away from people improperly wearing masks (or not wearing them at all). I've been unmasked on the hiking trails but my interactions with others are limited to quickly passing by each other while I hold my breath. My kindergarten son is the most likely culprit, as he attends school in person and despite the kids and staff wearing masks all day, children are generally gross and shit happens. Just goes to show that you can follow the guidelines and still possibly catch this virus.
January 5: I visit the primary and she looks at my feet and is equally flummoxed. She says it's not a fungus and it's not a bacteria. She won't give me a COVID antibody test because they're inaccurate and useless, and a COVID swab would almost certainly test negative at this point because it's been so long since the onset of symptoms. She prescribes me prednisone to alleviate the inflammation and refers me to a dermatologist just to make sure it's not something else. I make an appointment for two days later (Thursday).
January 7: The thrilling conclusion to my tale. I go to the dermatologist and am seen by a nurse practitioner who is 100% positively sure...that it's not COVID toes. It's chilblains. Which is a condition caused by poor circulation (cold feet, basically) that can crop up without warning, especially in wintertime, is not contagious, and looks EXACTLY like the online photos of COVID toes. It is treated the same way, too, with steroids, although the NP said I could use a topical cream that she prescribed instead of the oral prednisone (which, let's be honest, is a hell of a drug). I have a follow-up in two months to see how my body has handled this newfound excitement. It can apparently come back at some point in the future, but keeping my perpetually-cold feet a bit warmer will surely help. The good news is the prednisone is already working to reduce swelling and itching, and the topical steroid will continue that good work, I'm sure.
So how'd you like THAT twist? Oh noes, no COVID toes after all. My three-person family bubble is secure indeed. Everyone watch your backs out there.
