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Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Inner Saboteur

With RuPaul's Drag Race returning (this Friday!) and my Spartan Ultra looming large, I've been thinking a lot about my inner saboteur. This is the person inside us all who, according to RuPaul, is trying to destroy us from the inside. Mine may have reared her ugly head a few times during the Arizona Super when I distinctly thought to myself, "how the HELL am I gonna basically do this Super FIVE TIMES IN A ROW?" The whole idea sounded completely impossible. Despite having a great weekend and recovering well between races, I still had nagging doubts upon my return to Iowa that I would even stand a chance of finishing the Ultra.

Granted, there is a lot stacked against me at the moment. I lost about 6 weeks of good training to anemia. I lost about two weeks of good training to Sprain #1. I lost months to Sprain #2, which is still recovering and nagged me a bit post-Arizona (it sprang back remarkably well, but it still wasn't totally happy during the race). Fall and winter should have been spent building mileage, and instead I was just trying to cling to the fitness I'd spent all summer cultivating. Weight was gained. Gains were lost.

It wasn't all bad, though. I did get in excellent work on obstacles. I've learned a better way of eating to keep myself feeling less inflamed, and the extra weight is coming off. There's a mental edge that comes with injury, and I feel more grateful for the opportunity to suffer. I'm going to be able to train on flat and wet terrain, which will be quite similar to the Ohio Ultra (I did the Ohio Beast last year and...yeah). I'm very confident in hikes up to 20 miles, and on grip obstacles up to Twister. Really, the Ultra is only 10 more miles.

And many hours on the feet. Look, I've suffered before. I did the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon on no training, in the pouring rain, and finished with hamburger-meat feet and zero spectators after the time limit. I had several blisters pop in the Green Bay Marathon. But my marathon personal worst is 7:45. The Ultra will be AT LEAST 5 hours longer than that. I have never suffered for that long and, frankly, I'm scared. Not gonna lie. Even childbirth had an epidural as a contingency plan. Can I force myself to suffer for that long? Or will I give up?

I talked this existential crisis through with a personal training client. She is a no-nonsense chick and I figured she'd be straight with me. Sure enough she was like "psht, girl, you at least have to TRY, if you can't do it so what? What's the worst that would happen, you do one lap of the Ultra and quit? You can try again some other time."

SHE IS RIGHT, you guys. None of us can know how our first Ultra will go. Everything might feel amazing. Everything might feel like it is literally in flames. You might make the time cutoffs with hours to spare. You might miss the transition cutoff by 3 minutes. Maybe I won't have a choice if my foot falls off from gangrene. But I can choose, right here and now, to kick my inner saboteur and her terrible ideas about quitting right square in the nuts. If I don't finish, I will at least live to race another day. Some extremely fit people take several attempts to finish their first Ultra. But I will try my best. I will train my damnedest, I will get my nutrition on point, I will do every burpee at every failed obstacle and move as quickly as I can through that damned swamp. And I won't leave Ohio with any regrets or, hopefully, staph infections.

Monday, February 17, 2020

Race Recap: Spartan Super and Sprint Arizona

Spartan Super and Sprint Arizona 2/15-16/20 Fort McDowell, AZ

Weather: 55-70 degrees and sunny
Terrain: Desert, rocky with packed sand
Distance: Super 6.43 miles with 28 obstacles; Sprint 3.85 miles with 20 obstacles
Elevation Gain: Super approx. 900 feet; Sprint approx. 400 feet



I was very happy to be leaving Iowa (temperature: -15) for Arizona on Friday before the race. After some sightseeing I checked into the WeKoPa Resort, which was the host hotel close to the venue. Spartan had negotiated an incredible discount which made this four-diamond resort cheaper than the Hampton Inn. I was surprised to hear that we wouldn't even have to pay the daily resort fee like the other guests. On top of that, we'd get a free shuttle to and from the race. Nice. Resort was gorgeous and I met a guy in the hot tub who *owns his own hot air balloon,* so needless to say I was instantly impressed with Arizona.

Saturday morning my buddy Wes and I (we also did the Attica Sprint together) set off for the Super on the shuttle bus, which was waiting and empty. A private school bus to the event? Yes please. It dropped us off right in front of the registration tents, which was some real VIP service. Check-in was a breeze. We got a good look at the interesting course layout, where racers loop around to the festival area just past the midpoint before coming through again to finish. This makes it an excellent course for spectators. There's even bleacher seating for people. Although temperatures that morning were in the high 40s, they quickly warmed up when the sun came out, and by 9 AM we were comfortable standing around in tank tops. We were feeling competitive because we'd wagered dinner on who could finish in the fastest time, so we got going in the 9:45 AM wave. Wes immediately gapped me by, gasp, jogging way more than I did. Total "tortoise and the hare" situation today, so I was gonna have to be a good little tortoise.

First obstacle was a single overwall, followed by Pipe Lair and a long slog up and down steep, packed sandy hills. Lots of loose rocks gave few opportunities to look up from the feet, but the landscape was stunning. Towering saguaros, big fat barrel cacti, and pretty prickly pear everywhere! Somehow I did not get a single cactus needle in my skin! Third obstacle was an easy Stairway to Sparta, followed by a hard The Box. They inexplicably put the crash pad about 1.5 feet away from the base of the box,  making it much harder to jump up onto the knot at the end of the short rope. I tried a few times, getting as far as touching the grab bar with one hand, but kept falling off. Finally took the L and got a boost. But I made progress! I almost got up by scaling the rope with the rope stuck between my foot and the wall. Maybe next time. 

Next: the dreadnought Twister. My hands felt a tiny bit sweaty, but I found a lane with the second section in the proper "down" position and soldiered on sideways. I struggled a bit with my aim with my forward hand, it was harder to make sure I got my hand through the grip for some reason. Managed to persevere enough to ring the bell! I didn't see Wes doing burpees, so I thought "oh lord, did Wes get Twister? I am SCREWED for this bet." Seven foot wall, easy peasy. Sandbag carry was fun, up and down a large hill. This was followed by monkey bars, which I was nervous about, and it turned out for good reason. The first and last couple bars weren't far apart, but the ones in the middle had two or three 4-foot gaps in a row. I was too scared to ape swing so I forced myself to match, and it felt like my hands were sticking to the bars as I tried valiantly to make it through. Thankfully I finally rang the bell. Still no Wes!

Over the inverted wall, then down through rolling mud. It sucked. Literally, it had some shoe-sucking quicksand. Nothing too bad, just enough to make you nervous and get lots of sand in your shoes. Water was 1.5 feet deep in each pit. The cliffs between the pits were extremely high, like 5-6 feet. I didn't see how it'd be possible to get out without a hand. Fortunately two men worked together to help haul me out of the first pit. The second had some "stairs" that someone had made in the cliff. Then came the dunk wall, which was sloppy but refreshing. This was a photo stop but I didn't get a picture, which is fine with me because I hate all dunk wall photos.

On the walk to the next obstacle, I caught up to Wes, who'd stopped to try (and fail) to fix his shoes after that mess. We went through the bucket carry together, which went well. Next was a long walk to Z-walls, which was on a nice high plateau with some actual grasses. Z-walls felt tougher than usual but I made it. I made a mental note to avoid the walls that had the "Spartan" signs in the gaps. Afterward was the spear throw, and I threw too high and missed by six inches. Wes hit it and ran ahead as I got totally filthy in the burpee pit. It was a nice view, though, overlooking the festival grounds from the high mesa. The course ran us down the side back to the festival area, where we found a horrifyingly rocky barbed wire crawl. 


We must smile to keep from crying

A-frame cargo was tight and easy (that's what she said?), then rope climb, where my feet weren't locking perfectly but I still made it to the bell. Didn't see Wes in the burpee pit so I knew he was going faster than me. Tire flip was extremely easy, even by my tire flip standards. Granted it had been a long time since I'd flipped a tire, but I just plopped that thing like it was nothing. Atlas carry went as usual. Long walk to a three-obstacle gauntlet starting with Beater, which is just so damn fun. Wes had failed it and I caught him coming out of the burpee pit and we hit up Bender together. We both got over and moved straight to Olympus. The new material had me nervous, and sure enough it was really slippery. My main issue was that I just couldn't get secure enough footing to move laterally with my hands. I had to hold on so much more with my hands that I couldn't get the feet correct. Got through two panels (out of six) before my feet just started sliding down and I couldn't save it. Thirty burpees with Wes. I'd done fewer burpees that day so I beat him out of the pit, but he caught up to me quickly up the trail. 

Next was The Box 2, which I'd heard was a wall already at the venue that we'd be scaling with ropes. What I DIDN'T know in advance was that this wall was a good 15 feet high and absolutely terrifying to behold from the ground. I didn't even know how we'd get over the top once we got up there. But by god, I put on my work gloves (I used them on all the rope obstacles), used the grooves between the large bricks every 2-3 feet, and got up that stupid wall. They had wooden planks at the top to grab and pull ourselves over. It wasn't bad as long as you didn't look down. The worst part was getting down off the back of the wall, which was a good 6 feet off the ground. I ended up scraping my stomach trying to slide off the concrete.

Wes and I got to the multi-rig at the same time. Two rings, a tilted-up bar, and five more rings. The first of those rings was set very close to the bar, and about a foot higher. I realized it would be wise to just skip that stupid thing, so I just got a bit more lateral movement on the bar and grabbed the next lower ring to continue to the bell. Wes failed that transition and went to the burpee pit. I was in the lead! For once!


I enjoy hanging from one hand more than most people.

Finishing gauntlet by the festival! Herc hoist was easy as usual, followed by a new metal slip wall which was shiny and allegedly hot (I still had my rope gloves on) but was not slippery. Vertical cargo had the platform, and I got the belly flop onto the platform but was about 1 centimeter away from being able to grab the back of it and pull myself up. A nearby lady dragged my hand that centimeter to help me out. Up and over the net, then over the fire to victory! 


I heard a spectator exclaim "that's gonna be a good one!" about my jump pic

Wes finished 6 minutes later, and we got our bags and our free beer (they offered a non-alcoholic option, which was a smart idea, and it was delicious). Back to the hotel for my free lunch (tacos) and some pool and hot tub time to prepare for the next day's Sprint.

The next day I woke up early, requested (and got) a later checkout time of noon so that I could shower post-race, and got ready to meet Wes and Rachel, who'd be joining us for today's race. We had our same instant private shuttle bus to the venue and started in the 9:30 AM wave. They ran on ahead and I was the tortoise yet again! I like it back there, though :)

Overwall was once again easy, as was the sandbag carry (saw W+R descending as I was ascending). I was even more nervous about the monkey bars today. I just had a feeling I'd fail them. Got on and they felt greasy. Oh shit. Got through the small gaps. Then the first, second, third big gaps. I realized I hadn't fallen off yet and the rest wasn't as hard. Hit the bell. I was so proud I made it with greasy-feeling bars. They're tough under perfect conditions, after all. At the inverted wall I caught up to W+R, then another nightmare slog through rolling mud and dunk wall. Thankfully the bottom of the mud pits had been tamped down and I didn't get nearly as much sand in my shoes!

I am blind! And filthy!

Bucket and Z-wall were easier than the day before. Then the spear. I don't know why but I had a feeling I'd nail the spear. Got up there, got situated, and BANG. An amazing throw. My best throw ever. NAILED IT. Went past the burpee pit and both Wes and Rachel had failed the spear! Poor Wes, his first ever missed spear. But I was riding high on the now very strong possibility that I could run my first-ever clean Sprint race. Descended the hill to the awful barbed wire crawl. I tried going on the other side of it, which was a massive mistake. It was way worse, with huge hard ruts that were very painful to roll over and impossible to crawl over. I joked that the ruts were "NOT 'ribbed for her pleasure.'" At least that was followed by an easy A-frame.

The face of human misery

At rope climb, I got my gloves and worked my way up. Finally hit the bell, slid down, and looked over and saw Wes say "good job, Clare!" Apparently Rachel had been screaming for me but I was so focused up there I didn't even notice. W+R had to do burpees so I went on ahead, fully expecting them to catch me before the multi-rig. But I jogged a bit more at the end, because I really wanted a decent finish time at this point. Got the tire flip, Atlas, and that terrifying Box 2 again. Learned my lesson from yesterday and didn't scrape myself getting down. The multi-rig was rings only and very easy, although one ring was poorly positioned so I just skipped it LIKE A BOSS. (I'd been practicing that particular trick at the ninja gym, I was pleased to put it to good use.) 

Final gauntlet: herc hoist, slip wall, vertical cargo (now with no platform!) and fire jump. Got my medal and a banana and chatted with an extremely good-looking dude while watching for W+R, who came through the final gauntlet not long after. We were totally riding high on our awesome weekend of racing. We might even be able to talk Rachel into doing one of these again!

This Modified Heisman fire jump pose should become a trend.

Pros:
-Venue and weather. They worked together to make this the perfect desert experience. Lots of small(-ish) hills up and down was fun and challenging, and when you could look up from the rocks at your feet, the vistas were stunning. Whoever designed the course used the venue very well.
-Logistics. This was probably the best I've seen, since I stayed at the host resort and had extremely efficient shuttle service to and from the race's doorstep. I would HIGHLY recommend booking the host resort to everyone. Avoiding the parking lot was a massive perk. It really made the whole weekend a much more relaxing and smooth experience.
-Obstacle spacing. They really did a great job of breaking up the grip obstacles and the heavy obstacles, having some gauntlets and some long slogs. Very well designed.

Cons:
-I thought the cliffs between the sections of Rolling Mud were too steep and treacherous. It seemed like it'd be impossible for the Super elites and age groupers to get over them without help.

Race Grade: A+. Honestly, this entire experience was practically flawless. Having a host resort with a shuttle was a total game-changer. Spartan should do this all the time. The race itself was incredible. What a gem on the Spartan schedule.

This Is Spartan Ultra Episode 14


Documenting my Spartan Arizona weekend (Super and Sprint)! How many burpees did I have to do?