Another obstacle-work episode, this one lays out with a bit more detail exactly what I'm going for with these workouts. I'm specifically working on lateral movement, grip, and comfort with dangling in the air. Going for it when you feel like you might fall is another thing I need to work on. This episode has highs and lows but it helps me to see what I'm doing wrong and right!
Monday, April 29, 2019
This Is Spartan Ultra Episode 7
Another obstacle-work episode, this one lays out with a bit more detail exactly what I'm going for with these workouts. I'm specifically working on lateral movement, grip, and comfort with dangling in the air. Going for it when you feel like you might fall is another thing I need to work on. This episode has highs and lows but it helps me to see what I'm doing wrong and right!
Sunday, April 21, 2019
This Is Spartan Ultra Episode 6
Had a great (surprise!) opportunity to train on venue-specific terrain today. The sandy dunes I found in the middle of nowhere were exactly like the Badlands in Attica, Indiana (home to the Chicago Spartan Beast). It's nice when you can hike in very diverse ecosystems. Good practice for all kinds of venues and destination races.
Thursday, April 18, 2019
This Is Spartan Ultra Episode 5
Today's long (13.7 mile, 3:15) walk was on paved trails that I hadn't explored in a while. High winds out of the north, in addition to frequent trail "closures" that I largely ignored, tried to break-uh my stride, but ain't nothin' gonna slow me down.
Saturday, April 13, 2019
Ten People You See At Every Race
When you do enough races of various types, you will start to notice patterns. The same people show up for every race. (If you're doing local races, this is literal. Otherwise, figurative.) Let's get into the ten main types that you will see at every race you ever do.
1) Lithe Man In Tiny Shorts
This guy is really hard to miss. He is always lined up on the start line. He is always about 5'11", 140 lb. And he is ALWAYS wearing the TINIEST SHORTS you have ever seen in your life. These are the shorts where a slight gust of wind could get him arrested. He will definitely make the podium in this race.
2) Women In Tutus
These ladies always travel in groups of two to four. Their tutus will match. They will be giggling. They may be wearing glittery eyeshadow for no good reason. But dammit, they're here for a good time, not for a fast time.
3) Old Guy Walking Super Fast
As a back-of-the-packer, I have seen this guy a billion times. No matter how fast you walk, he is walking faster. He has probably been racewalking for five decades. He is a damn Terminator. He will walk your ass into the ground. He will pass runners, and those runners will be furious. He is the Fast Old Guy. Don't sleep on the Fast Old Guy. He'll get you every time.
4) Total n00b
Easy to spot, they're usually found wearing the race shirt they got last night at packet pickup, and their bib is pinned to their back, not their front. They're probably dressed way too warmly for the weather, and they definitely look nervous. If they line up way too far forward, direct them to the proper location. And for heaven's sake, tell them to put their bibs in front.
5) Fat Woman Kicking Ass
Every race of every distance has at least one fat woman kicking ass. She might not be lightning fast, but by god she is working it. She did not come to this race to screw around like the tutu chicks. This woman is an inspiration to us all and we should all strive to be like her.
6) Person Who Warms Up Way Too Much
If you arrive an hour before race start and see a guy jogging and doing dynamic stretches, you know who I'm talking about. He tends to have way too much nervous energy and decides to waste it pre-race. Sometimes his warm-up is longer than the race itself. As Aaron Rodgers would say, R-E-L-A-X, Warm-Up Guy.
7) Puking Guy
This guy is a mainstay at any race half marathon or longer. He will usually start the puking at roughly mile 10. He never gives up. He may even run WHILE puking. This guy is also inspiring. He is the reason I bring Pepto chews with me when I race. (Alert: sometimes it's Puking Gal instead.)
8) Pack Mule
He or she always has a LOT going on with their fuel belt. They usually have one of those belts with a bunch of different bottles, each with a different ratio of Gatorade to water. They have salt tabs. They have energy gels. They have Clif bars. They have four different medications. They have a map of the town they're in. This is all overkill for a 5K.
9) Enthusiastic Child
The overly enthusiastic child is everywhere in the 5K distance (occasionally 10K, but they're a bit older). This kid wants to beat you. Yes, YOU. You specifically. Once you pass them, they'll take off like a bottle rocket, then when you catch up to them they'll repeat the cycle. Their parents have allowed them to run this race because they are hoping it'll tire the kid out enough to need a nap. If you have enough patience, you can beat them, because they are terrible pacers and can no longer keep up the sprint intervals after mile 2.
10) Grizzled Veteran
This person can be spotted by their zen-like demeanor and their "Fifty States Marathon Club" singlet. They wear a fuel belt that has clearly taken years of abuse. They know exactly what to do. They don't even need aid stations, so they never wonder when the next one is. They're usually mid- to back-of-pack and they don't care. Nothing to prove at this point when you've done 126 marathons and 200+ halfs. Ask these folks for advice and stories. They'll tell you some doozies. "I saw a guy get hit by a car during the Ironman bike leg, he just got back on the bike and KEPT GOING." "One time I did an ultra with no carbs and started hallucinating Care Bears at mile 34." "My friend got his leg caught in a woodchipper during a Color Run."
1) Lithe Man In Tiny Shorts
This guy is really hard to miss. He is always lined up on the start line. He is always about 5'11", 140 lb. And he is ALWAYS wearing the TINIEST SHORTS you have ever seen in your life. These are the shorts where a slight gust of wind could get him arrested. He will definitely make the podium in this race.
2) Women In Tutus
These ladies always travel in groups of two to four. Their tutus will match. They will be giggling. They may be wearing glittery eyeshadow for no good reason. But dammit, they're here for a good time, not for a fast time.
3) Old Guy Walking Super Fast
As a back-of-the-packer, I have seen this guy a billion times. No matter how fast you walk, he is walking faster. He has probably been racewalking for five decades. He is a damn Terminator. He will walk your ass into the ground. He will pass runners, and those runners will be furious. He is the Fast Old Guy. Don't sleep on the Fast Old Guy. He'll get you every time.
4) Total n00b
Easy to spot, they're usually found wearing the race shirt they got last night at packet pickup, and their bib is pinned to their back, not their front. They're probably dressed way too warmly for the weather, and they definitely look nervous. If they line up way too far forward, direct them to the proper location. And for heaven's sake, tell them to put their bibs in front.
5) Fat Woman Kicking Ass
Every race of every distance has at least one fat woman kicking ass. She might not be lightning fast, but by god she is working it. She did not come to this race to screw around like the tutu chicks. This woman is an inspiration to us all and we should all strive to be like her.
6) Person Who Warms Up Way Too Much
If you arrive an hour before race start and see a guy jogging and doing dynamic stretches, you know who I'm talking about. He tends to have way too much nervous energy and decides to waste it pre-race. Sometimes his warm-up is longer than the race itself. As Aaron Rodgers would say, R-E-L-A-X, Warm-Up Guy.
7) Puking Guy
This guy is a mainstay at any race half marathon or longer. He will usually start the puking at roughly mile 10. He never gives up. He may even run WHILE puking. This guy is also inspiring. He is the reason I bring Pepto chews with me when I race. (Alert: sometimes it's Puking Gal instead.)
8) Pack Mule
He or she always has a LOT going on with their fuel belt. They usually have one of those belts with a bunch of different bottles, each with a different ratio of Gatorade to water. They have salt tabs. They have energy gels. They have Clif bars. They have four different medications. They have a map of the town they're in. This is all overkill for a 5K.
9) Enthusiastic Child
The overly enthusiastic child is everywhere in the 5K distance (occasionally 10K, but they're a bit older). This kid wants to beat you. Yes, YOU. You specifically. Once you pass them, they'll take off like a bottle rocket, then when you catch up to them they'll repeat the cycle. Their parents have allowed them to run this race because they are hoping it'll tire the kid out enough to need a nap. If you have enough patience, you can beat them, because they are terrible pacers and can no longer keep up the sprint intervals after mile 2.
10) Grizzled Veteran
This person can be spotted by their zen-like demeanor and their "Fifty States Marathon Club" singlet. They wear a fuel belt that has clearly taken years of abuse. They know exactly what to do. They don't even need aid stations, so they never wonder when the next one is. They're usually mid- to back-of-pack and they don't care. Nothing to prove at this point when you've done 126 marathons and 200+ halfs. Ask these folks for advice and stories. They'll tell you some doozies. "I saw a guy get hit by a car during the Ironman bike leg, he just got back on the bike and KEPT GOING." "One time I did an ultra with no carbs and started hallucinating Care Bears at mile 34." "My friend got his leg caught in a woodchipper during a Color Run."
Thursday, April 11, 2019
Case Study: Rec Center Pentathlon
Occasionally I have taken a closer look at some workouts (not races) with a Case Study post. This one is about today's workout. I do my long cardio workouts on Thursdays because I have my entire morning free, but the weather outside was truly horrible (cold, raining, and very high winds). So I decided to slog it out at the Rec Center where I work, and to avoid spending the entire experience miserable, I would get onto a variety of machines or areas and split up my cardio into segments. Hence what would become: the Rec Center Pentathlon. Five events of varying lengths, taking about 3 hours of time to complete.
Event 1: the five-mile walk on the indoor track. This indoor track overlooks the two gyms at the Rec, and is 14 laps for one mile. Got my clicky counter from the front desk and went to work. Whenever I entered the smaller gym the temperature went up about 10 degrees, which added a "fun" element to the experience. I knew this would be by far the worst part of my workout, which is why I did it first. Walking around the track offered little by way of entertainment, beyond passing people who were walking slower than I was. I didn't even have music. It was a valuable experience, though, because I was able to practice grabbing and returning my water bottle to its shelf next to the track without breaking stride. Also I had negative splits and felt extremely smooth.
Event 1 Time: 1:05:30
SHORT BREAK for water refill and Fig Newton (today's refuel of choice)
Event 2: 100 floors on the stepmill. I wanted a number of floors that seemed doable, but impressive. I knew this would be my highest heart rate of the day (about 155 average) so I wanted to get it done second. And it's a Matrix machine so I got to watch more "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" on Netflix.
Event 2 Time: 26:30
Event 3: 10 miles on the stationary bike. This is hardly ever a part of my fitness routine because I find it too easy cardio-wise (heart rate around 130) to be worth the time, but in a pentathlon, sometimes you just gotta fill in with random crap. Plus I needed an easy segment at this point. More Netflix.
Event 3 Time: 39:00
SHORT BREAK for water refill and Fig Newton (these things are flawless for workouts)
Event 4: one mile on the treadmill at maximum (15%) incline. I figured I could go as slow as I needed to. And boy, did I go slow. Heart rate was in the low 150s anyway. Finished "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" at the very end of this section.
Event 4 Time: 26:00 (plus 1 minute to get the treadmill back down to 0% for the next patron)
Event 5: two miles on the elliptical. I didn't want to do too much on this machine because I do it all the time, but I knew two miles would get me to 3 hours for the total, so I threw it in there. Started "Hey Qween" on Netflix, but there were no awful Republican men around to look disapprovingly at me about it. Darn.
Event 5 Time: 22:00
TOTAL PENTATHLON TIME: 3 hours flat. Felt amazing at the end. Diversifying the workout was the right choice, and it's definitely one that people should utilize. Sometimes it's intimidating to think "oh god, I have to do (insert time here) of exercise," but if you break it down, it's not so bad. If your goal is to work out for an hour, you can split that into two or three different machines. Have fun with it. And hope for better weather next week!
Event 1: the five-mile walk on the indoor track. This indoor track overlooks the two gyms at the Rec, and is 14 laps for one mile. Got my clicky counter from the front desk and went to work. Whenever I entered the smaller gym the temperature went up about 10 degrees, which added a "fun" element to the experience. I knew this would be by far the worst part of my workout, which is why I did it first. Walking around the track offered little by way of entertainment, beyond passing people who were walking slower than I was. I didn't even have music. It was a valuable experience, though, because I was able to practice grabbing and returning my water bottle to its shelf next to the track without breaking stride. Also I had negative splits and felt extremely smooth.
Event 1 Time: 1:05:30
SHORT BREAK for water refill and Fig Newton (today's refuel of choice)
Event 2: 100 floors on the stepmill. I wanted a number of floors that seemed doable, but impressive. I knew this would be my highest heart rate of the day (about 155 average) so I wanted to get it done second. And it's a Matrix machine so I got to watch more "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" on Netflix.
Event 2 Time: 26:30
Event 3: 10 miles on the stationary bike. This is hardly ever a part of my fitness routine because I find it too easy cardio-wise (heart rate around 130) to be worth the time, but in a pentathlon, sometimes you just gotta fill in with random crap. Plus I needed an easy segment at this point. More Netflix.
Event 3 Time: 39:00
SHORT BREAK for water refill and Fig Newton (these things are flawless for workouts)
Event 4: one mile on the treadmill at maximum (15%) incline. I figured I could go as slow as I needed to. And boy, did I go slow. Heart rate was in the low 150s anyway. Finished "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" at the very end of this section.
Event 4 Time: 26:00 (plus 1 minute to get the treadmill back down to 0% for the next patron)
Event 5: two miles on the elliptical. I didn't want to do too much on this machine because I do it all the time, but I knew two miles would get me to 3 hours for the total, so I threw it in there. Started "Hey Qween" on Netflix, but there were no awful Republican men around to look disapprovingly at me about it. Darn.
Event 5 Time: 22:00
TOTAL PENTATHLON TIME: 3 hours flat. Felt amazing at the end. Diversifying the workout was the right choice, and it's definitely one that people should utilize. Sometimes it's intimidating to think "oh god, I have to do (insert time here) of exercise," but if you break it down, it's not so bad. If your goal is to work out for an hour, you can split that into two or three different machines. Have fun with it. And hope for better weather next week!
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
This Is Spartan Ultra Episode 4
I'm never gonna crush obstacles unless I practice. Therefore, I go to the ninja gym weekly to get my obstacle on. A healthy mixture of epic fails and epic successes keeps me humble and improves my grip strength!
Saturday, April 6, 2019
Stuff I Like
Ever since my holiday book gift guide, I have thought about making a list here of stuff I like. Not books, but stuff. Gear, balms, clothes, just stuff. I have zero sponsorships from any of these brands, this is not a paid advertisement, I just like this stuff (and some of it is stuff I have tried a LOT of different solutions, only to find these that work best).
Badger Balm. This is a tin of greasy goodness that I use when my hands are torn from grip work or my underarms are chafed to high heaven. Note: if you put this on your palms, your hands will feel very greasy, so only put it on before bed.
Trail Toes. Anti-friction balm that works way better than anything else I've tried for blister prevention. This is especially good in cooler weather and wet conditions.
Sanabalm. As far as I know, this is only available from doctors, but it is an anti-friction powder that also works very well. Good for warm weather, it absorbs foot sweat that can contribute to the problem.
Moisture-wicking headbands. Any brand will do. My hair sweats like crazy so I need these for hot yoga and warm-weather or indoor cardio. If you need a brimmed hat, HeadSweats is the only brand I recommend for big-time sweating.
CamelBak. This is the exact one I use. It's the youth model, which I got because it's cheaper. I don't use the bladder because it's impossible to clean, but I stick a bottle in between the front and back pockets and it works like a charm.
Wave tool. A soft-tissue self-massage recovery tool. Full disclosure: I have only used this thing three times so far (I just got it this past week), but since the first time I used it I have had ZERO collarbone pain, and I'd been struggling with that for months. So I'm a believer. It also fixed my shin splints in a real hurry. This thing could be the difference, for me, between being able to train for the Ultra and curling up in a ball with a cheesecake, sobbing.
Tennis ball. This is also good for self-massage (rolling on the floor with it under your back to get out some trigger points). You can find these in your local Walmart, or in dog's mouths everywhere.
Waterproof socks. Every runner alive north of the Mason-Dixon line needs a pair of waterproof socks. They are ideal for cold and snowy conditions (they double as cold-proof and windproof socks). I have stepped in slush puddles with these bad boys and felt comfortable afterward. Wool socks might be warm, but they won't keep you dry like these will.
Badger Balm. This is a tin of greasy goodness that I use when my hands are torn from grip work or my underarms are chafed to high heaven. Note: if you put this on your palms, your hands will feel very greasy, so only put it on before bed.
Trail Toes. Anti-friction balm that works way better than anything else I've tried for blister prevention. This is especially good in cooler weather and wet conditions.
Sanabalm. As far as I know, this is only available from doctors, but it is an anti-friction powder that also works very well. Good for warm weather, it absorbs foot sweat that can contribute to the problem.
Moisture-wicking headbands. Any brand will do. My hair sweats like crazy so I need these for hot yoga and warm-weather or indoor cardio. If you need a brimmed hat, HeadSweats is the only brand I recommend for big-time sweating.
CamelBak. This is the exact one I use. It's the youth model, which I got because it's cheaper. I don't use the bladder because it's impossible to clean, but I stick a bottle in between the front and back pockets and it works like a charm.
Wave tool. A soft-tissue self-massage recovery tool. Full disclosure: I have only used this thing three times so far (I just got it this past week), but since the first time I used it I have had ZERO collarbone pain, and I'd been struggling with that for months. So I'm a believer. It also fixed my shin splints in a real hurry. This thing could be the difference, for me, between being able to train for the Ultra and curling up in a ball with a cheesecake, sobbing.
Tennis ball. This is also good for self-massage (rolling on the floor with it under your back to get out some trigger points). You can find these in your local Walmart, or in dog's mouths everywhere.
Waterproof socks. Every runner alive north of the Mason-Dixon line needs a pair of waterproof socks. They are ideal for cold and snowy conditions (they double as cold-proof and windproof socks). I have stepped in slush puddles with these bad boys and felt comfortable afterward. Wool socks might be warm, but they won't keep you dry like these will.
Thursday, April 4, 2019
This Is Spartan Ultra Episode 3
Did a 90-minute hike through my local nature reserve and managed to discover whole new sections of trail (and some weird/cool stuff along the way). Being able to hike quickly through muddy terrain is one of the most valuable skills an OCR racer can develop. If I want to do an Ultra, I'd better master it!
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