Chin-up Progression Episode 1

 As part of my effort to put in a competitive showing in the Age Group category at Notre Dame Stadion, I've started a chin-up progression program! I will be documenting my progress on YouTube. Here is episode 1.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRAktEq-zds

Race Recap: Abominable Snow Race

Abominable Snow Race, 1/29/22, Lake Geneva, WI

Weather: 10 degrees, cloudy

Terrain: Snowy, hilly forest

Distance: 5.65 miles (per lap)

Elevation Gain: approx. 760 feet (per lap)

 Course map

Quarantine began with the 2020 Abominable Snow Race. Meaning, I was five miles away from the venue when I got the email saying it was cancelled due to new COVID restrictions, so I turned around, drove the 3.5 hours home, and didn't leave my house for over a year. But we're vaxxed and back, baby. Once again I would be attempting Yeti's Challenge, and if I could actually do the two laps I paid for it would be the first time out of three signups. The first was 2019, where I skipped lap 2 but did the insane boot camp the following day. The second was the aforementioned 2020. This was my year at last. And Wes was coming along, despite, as he says, "HATING the cold." He brought his friend Lara as well, with whom I quickly bonded over frigid extremities and "that's what she said" jokes.

Packet pickup on Friday evening was very chaotic, basically in a narrow hallway with zero social distancing, and we were forced to put on our wristbands to wear until the following day. Not ideal, but I guess I get it. On race day we carpooled to the preferred parking area which was directly across from the race venue (a zipline park). Port-a-potties were easy to find; garbage cans were not. I ended up having to give my garbage to someone in a tent and watch them wander off with it to parts unknown. Always have garbage cans, folks! Where are we supposed to put our last-minute breakfast wrappers?!

There was a dedicated area for Yeti's Challenge participants, so we put our bags there and started the race with the 8 AM wave. For the first lap, at least, we would each be running our own race. Wes took off ahead. I was in the middle. Lara was somewhere behind me. Course started up a hill to a tall ladder wall, which was easy enough. A bit further down were a few 5' hurdles, which had wooden supports that made them easy to get over. I could have gotten over without the supports, but the way it was designed it would actually have been hard to AVOID the crossbeams. Off through the snowy and hilly woods. Basically no part of this course is flat. You are either going uphill or downhill the entire time. The snow was fairly soft so it wasn't ankle-breaking, at least.

We came out to an open area for the sled pull. Each sled had four concrete blocks in it and a loop attached. Put the loop around your hips and go. Not difficult but naturally some folks were just not doing it correctly. When they give you a loop for your hips, put it around your hips! Don't walk in front of the loop and drag it with your hands! Heavens to Betsy! So yes, I walked past several sleds that had been abandoned early by their nonsensical drivers' poor strategy and went to the inverted ladder. This was at a severe angle and actually took me a bit of time to figure out. Throwing my upper body over the top rung was not an option. I ended up hooking the top rung under my armpits and using hip flexibility to get my left foot hooked over. From there it was easy peasy.

I am so smart, S-M-R-T

More snowy woods, then we got to a Z-wall. This one had blind corners and much more randomly-placed foot- and handholds than a Spartan Z-wall. But after much drama, I did manage to make it through and ring the bell, somehow pulling my quad in the process. It took about five minutes of walking to loosen up to normal. Just in time for the next obstacle, which was brand new: a rig of ropes all in a row. The ropes were a few feet apart and you were meant to lock in on each one and traverse across. Let me tell you, if these ropes hadn't been brand-new slick nylon, I might have pulled this off. But they were so slippery I had no chance, and neither did about 85% of the folks I saw on it. I let the volunteer cut off my obstacle band (I don't know why they gave me one, as I was clearly NOT competitive) and continued to an obstacle that looked extremely fun. Uphill monkey bars, lateral bar traverse, then downhill monkey bars! Whee!

WRONG. My winter-weather grip gloves didn't have the friction to hold on. I took them off and tried with just the nitrile base layer. Didn't work. I would have taken them off, but my hands were very sweaty underneath and would have frozen to the bars. So sadly I had to take the L. I'm so bummed. If it had been 70 degrees I would have LOVED this obstacle. More snowy woods, then the piece de resistance: the Polar Vortex. Slip wall, to a horizontal cargo net traverse that goes over the road below. EEK. We'd obviously seen this obstacle on the walk up that very road, but it is way freakier from inside the net. The net was loose and shifted violently and frequently. I ended up keeping my head close to the central bar and rolling so that my legs wouldn't suddenly WHOOSH through the netting. But I survived.

At the bottom was a log carry, which was very long and had a few sections of loose rocks underneath the snow. At this point I'm just praying my insurance is up to date. Got through without spraining anything, then entered another section of woods and went to the Apex obstacle, which is ASR's version of Olympus. The surface is easy to traverse. The GIANT gaps between the boards are not. Seriously, there were at least three feet between the three different angled board sections, requiring an incredible amount of hip dexterity. Even if I could have reached that far across the gap, there would be no way for me to maintain three points of contact. So I fumbled through "doing it my way" like Frank Sinatra and rejoined the forest trail.

With two miles remaining, here is where the forest got interesting. Not only were the hills bigger, but they were ICY underneath the snow. Truly this was the treacherous part. I was already pretty tired, but this whole section damn near killed me. Finally, more obstacles. A 15' rope climb looked easy enough, but again my gloves were just AWFUL for this particular surface. I wish I'd worn my regular race grip gloves with the nitrile underneath, but you live and learn. Took off the grip gloves AND the nitrile gloves, which were now broken, and still couldn't get up the rope. My grip was shot. Headed to the low crawl under paracord and netting, which went fine. A bit rocky but what else is new?

After that we got to carry an ice bucket down and up a hill. I shouldered it because thankfully women only needed to carry one. Men had to farmer's carry two of them. Back at the top to Weaver, which had a bunch of (TOO MANY) logs positioned at about the same height, and you go over one and under the next, so on to the end. I managed to do ONE cycle, then I just GTFO of there. It was an obstacle designed for insane backups. Even with three lanes, it would just take so long to get through it that it wasn't worth it. I wish they'd had maybe half the logs and twice the number of lanes. It would have been much more doable.

Speaking of doable, the low multi-rig after that was just not happening. The components were extremely cool and I would have loved to play on it, but I absolutely hate low rigs. It is so hard for me, six feet tall with my shoes on, to stay that low on a hanging rig. And I get that "that's the point," but this is a winter OCR, and grip obstacles are already made very complicated by the whole glove issue. Again, if it had been a high rig and 70 degrees, bring it on. Afterwards we went down a hill, where we were meant to bring a used tube back up through a low crawl area, but there were no tubes so I just did the crawl without one. It was long. Very long.

Now is the part of our story that gets a little bit sad (tm The Book of Mormon musical). There was a good half mile of INSANE forest hills. We had to slide down on our butts. It was rocky. There were trees and giant loose snow piles at the bottom that got in our shoes. Then we had to crawl up a similarly steep hill. Then we had to slide down ANOTHER hill. It was absolutely harrowing. Nobody over the age of 20 should ever do this. Finally we came out to the obstacle area and there was an easy 8' wall. 

I could do this all day!

Then was the tube slide. Riding a tube down a hill sounds like it should be fun. It was terrifying. I got going so fast that I ended up careening underneath the rope onto the beginning of the course. Fortunately nobody was there at the time.

"I should have updated my will."

After returning my tube to the poor bastards who'd have to drag it back up, there was a crawl/low wall/crawl obstacle, then O-U-T (over, under, and through). The final obstacle was a sort of herc hoist with a 50 lb sandbag, but instead of hoisting it, you had to turn a crank with your forearms to raise it up. I got the thing a foot or so off the ground before giving up. This would have legitimately taken FOREVER. This was the only obstacle of the day that I genuinely felt was just a poor design. For women it was way too heavy, and for anyone it was just way too high to have to hoist it considering the small crank you needed to use. I chose instead to just finish the damn lap, regroup, and go back out there. 

And wouldn't you know it, Wes was still around! He'd finished about 20 minutes before and was still talking himself into going back out there. And so Team Strugglebus was formed once again, and we vowed to complete a second lap of this insane medieval torture arena. We didn't know how far back Lara was or if she'd even want to do a second lap, so we just went back out and hoped for the best.

The second lap was much the same as the first, except we were two exhausted middle-aged whiners who just straight-up skipped the obstacles that we failed the first time. And when we got to the tubes, there was a wait, so we just said "eff it" and WALKED down the damn hill, LOL.

After the race we got our three medals each and clanged our way through the festival area, getting cocoas and beer and staying warm by the fire. A roaming candid photographer captured the moment.

"So I said, 'this isn't my cousin's dildo!' And then SHE said..."

Lara's bag was still in the Yeti's Challenge area so we knew she had gone out for lap 2, and she found us about half an hour later! We all made it! And we each individually had to talk ourselves into doing the second lap! But we are a proud and mighty trio. I wonder if I can talk them into doing this again.

We were, in fact, ready for this Yeti.

Pros:

-Challenging obstacles. Too challenging for ME, frankly, but folks who complain that Spartan obstacles are too easy would be satisfied here.

-Terrain was abominable as advertised. 

-Nice course and festival layout, and preferred parking was great.

Cons:

-Took until post-race for them to put garbage cans out (but better late than never).

-Some of the obstacles felt a BIT rickety.

-I do not like having to slide down rocky, icy hills on my butt. Although it keeps my chiropractor in business.

Race Grade:  B+. A fun winter event with just a few design flaws.