Race Recap: Des Moines Half Marathon

Des Moines Half Marathon Race Report

When: Sunday, October 16, 2016

Where: Des Moines, IA

Weather: 60s and foggy

Division: Open

I have done the Des Moines races before, but it had been a while. I was eager to see if they had fixed the few issues that I had with the race back in 2010/2011. The expo was good, easy in/out, and organized. The hardest part is finding parking, which you basically have to park on the street (metered) or pay $8 for the garage (no thanks). I managed to find street parking two blocks away, so crisis averted! Swag bags are awesome. I did the 5 miler on Saturday morning and that came with a free fleece blanket, which is unique (not just another boring t-shirt), plus the 5 miler finishers got very nice medals. The half bag contained a shirt which is very thin (probably see-through when wet, not kidding ya) but the sleeves are long enough even for gangly me. Picked up a cowbell and some candy at the booths around the expo.

On Sunday morning I walked from my very conveniently located hotel to the start area two blocks away. The start/finish area is quite spread out but it is decently organized, at least if you have checked a map beforehand. I was able to easily consult my map and find the bag drop and port-a-johns. Race started on time and it took me about 6 minutes to cross the starting mat. Or what I thought was the starting mat. Turns out the 5K start mats are INSIDE the starting chute, so I crossed starting mats twice and started my watch at the wrong ones. Mental note: delete 54 seconds from my race time to accommodate this error. It was really poorly marked so I only take partial credit for this boner.

The race course was new this year and avoided an area that traumatized me in 2010 (I DNF'd because I had to drop out...in the area that was now omitted from the race). I felt great. Mile 3 was really long, though, by about 1/4 mile (confirmed by others with GPS watches), and they didn't really even it out later on, so I think the course in general was a bit long. Another bad thing going on was the extreme humidity. It was very foggy for the first hour of this race. "Fog" = 100% humidity, so it was brutal, especially since temps were in the 60s. 

One thing that was great about this race: volunteers and bike support. The bike support was ridiculously on fleek. These people were all over me and I loved it. If you needed just about anything, they either had it on them or were willing to pedal their butts off to get it. The volunteers were enthusiastic. But I was sad to see that they hadn't improved the course markings since 2010. There were a LOT of intersections where, if I hadn't been in a stream of racers, I would have had no idea where to go. How hard is it to put up signs or spray-paint the street? Great course, terrible markings.

Also terrible: the people I was around. Usually the back of the pack is really nice and friendly, since we clearly don't take ourselves too seriously. Not today. I was actually kind of amused by how rude a lot of my fellow slowbies were. "Iowa Nice," my ass. It got to the point where I would try to start conversations and just expect them to ignore me or stare at me like I had three heads. I didn't let it discourage me, though, and by the time I hit mile 9 I had left a lot of those Grumpy Guses in the dust. I mean, geez, folks, eat a Snickers or something, you get a little cranky when you're tired. After 9 miles, the slightly faster folks I was near were much more pleasant. 

At this point in the race, there were a lot more spectators, since we were approaching downtown again. The signs were amazing. Lots of hate for Donald Trump, which was a joy to see. "Run like Trump's trying to grab your [picture of a cat]." "Run like Trump's chasing you." (I didn't see any anti-Hillary signs, but I did laugh pretty hard at a "HilLIARy for 2016 PRISON" billboard on the highway back home.) Also there was a water stop staffed by Air National Guardsmen in uniform, which definitely makes you think twice about bitching about the...

...GIANT HILL! Yes, this course, already fairly hilly, took it to a new level (literally) with a giant hill at mile 10! Keep in mind, this is mile 23 of the full marathon, too. I smiled when I saw it. I love walking up hills, especially when I am tired. Hear me out. Your glutes are big. Your glutes are underutilized much of the time. They had plenty of gas in the tank (that was not a fart joke, although you are welcome to make one). My motto is "push with the tush," which apparently a lot of other folks don't know about because I passed a TON of struggling folks on the walk up the hill. The incline was about 1 mile long and fairly steep at parts. It felt amazing. I was actually kind of dreading the inevitable...

...GIANT DOWNHILL! Shit. Going down steep hills is fun during a 5K, but once you've hit double-digit miles it is a nightmare. I basically limped down the hill and tried to keep my hip flexors from trying so hard to brake me, which is a literal exercise in futility when you are a walker instead of a runner. Ironically, it would have hurt much less if I'd jogged down the hill, but who knows how my shins would have taken that, so walking it was. That downhill took a long time but when it was over I was so happy. 

After the GIANT DOWNHILL we had only about a mile to the finish, which went quickly and easily. Not a lot of "faffing about," as Len would say on Dancing With the Stars. We headed straight back for the finish line. Got a GORGEOUS finisher medal (it has blue stained glass in it, folks) and good food (delicious sugar cookie and a BBQ pork slider? YES GAWD). Bag retrieval was quick and I managed to make it back to my hotel, stretch, shower, and leave right in time for my noon checkout.

Good: 

-course. Great elevation changes, nice sights.

-volunteers. Friendly and eager to help.

-entertainment. Lots of local musicians and a good number of boomboxes. 

-food. Baked Cheetos? Chocolate milk? Prepackaged turkey sandwiches? Yogurt? Snack boxes with nachos in them? And it's not even my birthday!

-food on the course. Those bike folks had everything. Pretzels, gummi bears, Twizzlers, the list goes on.

-photographers are plentiful and in good areas (like when there's cool stuff in the background, like bridges).
-medal is AMAZING. Perhaps the best I've ever gotten. It has stained glass in it, FFS.

Bad:

-kind of disorganized for such a major race. Needed course markings and a more intuitive start/finish area layout. I shouldn't need a map to have a clue where bag check is.

-unfriendly participants. Seriously, WTF? I've never encountered so much stank during a race before!
-course was clearly too long. Was a new course, so who knows. Must fix for next time!

Race Grade: B. What is good is very, very good. What is bad is...kind of unforgivable? A badly marked course makes me unlikely to recommend it for potentially slow walkers, since if you lose the pack you're screwed. I had that problem in 2010 and it contributed to my DNF.