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Monday, February 5, 2018

O.C.R. Puff'n Stuff

Saturday: The Abominable Snow Race! See my last post for my recap. Wow, what a day! I feel like a warrior goddessa!

Sunday: Oof. I have been hit by some sort of bus. Municipal, perhaps school. My ass is bruised everso. I have gained 2 pounds.

Monday: OOF. I maybe was hit by a train. A coal train, by the looks of these bruises all over my arms and legs. Holy god, things are cramping. I need to use the elliptical for 30 minutes and stretch, but I can barely get my arms over my head. I have gained another 2 pounds, for a total of 4 pounds. At least I am no longer on prednisone.

Tuesday: Dear lord. Will the soreness never cease? At least my cough has eased up a bit today. I discovered a new bruise on my left tricep that will be pointed out to me by concerned onlookers in the week to come. I went on the elliptical for 75 minutes while watching Fuller House on Netflix, then stretched. Made a lot of noise, trying to get my arms over my head. I have gained another 2 pounds, for a total of 6 pounds.

Wednesday: DEAR LORD. I have gained another 2 pounds, for a total of 8 pounds. I honestly didn't think it was physically possible for a female, even a jacked one like myself, to gain this much water weight unless on an IV drip at the hospital. Feeling puffy AF, as the kids say. My bruises continue to darken. Fortunately I start peeing a lot in the afternoon and evening. Perhaps I have reached the weight-gain apex. My soreness is slightly downgraded to a mere "ouch."

Thursday: I have lost 5 of the 8 pounds that I gained overnight, praise heaven. Unfortunately my sinuses are now trying to kill me. Perhaps I will lose another pound of mucus. Thank goodness I didn't feel this lousy on race day.

Friday: I have now lost 7 of the 8 pounds that I gained. I still cannot raise my arms over my head without making loud squeaking sounds like a strangled hamster.

Saturday: I have lost all of the excess weight and now wince instead of squeak. I have so much mucus in my stomach that I feel exceedingly nauseous.

Sunday: I am 2 pounds lighter than I was on race day. Mucus is still out of control, but my arms function at last. But the bruises may last forever. Then again, so will the glory. Training resumes next week!

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